Sometimes it sucks being the Weekender, but mostly it’s great. But only because it keeps me out of the clubs.

So this weekend was a long one and, yes, I dragged myself out of Beijing to scour the countryside for gems. I found one, but paid for it dearly. Here’s the LD.

I have this cool map of Beijing environs courtesy of the Beijing Hikers. It’s laminated and awesome and I got it two years ago. On this map there are Things of Interest. Such as Yuqiao Lake. It’s a massive blot of blue out by the Eastern Qing Tombs. Ever since I went to the EQT last year, I’ve wanted to explore it. No one has any idea what’s out there, even Sun Huijie (of the Beijing Hikers) shrugged when I asked her about it. On Sunday morning, I packed up a few things and went.

Kinda.

I took the route that “poor people” (ie, mofo’s with no cars) take to get the EQT. Hop a cramped bus at Sihui then power on up the Jingji Expressway and bam you’re there (two hours travel time—no traffic jams). I plopped off the bus into the teeth of the touts. None of them had the right answers to my questions, so I ducked into the only non-diseased looking restaurant on the very meager strip, ordered some food and struck up some conversations. I learned there was another reservoir, much closer, called Longmenkou. So I hired a motorized trike and went on my way.

Longmenkou is okay. It’s very close to the Eastern Qing Tombs. In fact, it’s a cool back way into the EQT area and there’s a nice nongjiayuan back there (more on that later). I was all ready to head for Yuqiao, the big blue on the map, when my driver said there was another reservoir, bigger, better, not far. Shangguanhu. Hell, I’m the weekender. I took the bait.

There was an amazingly rich aroma perfuming the air, fecundating the air. I later found out the reason: pear trees. They are in serious bloom and it smells like hops mating with barley. Awesome. We powered to Shangguanhu and as soon as I caught sight of the lake, I knew I’d found the right place. Cupped by a rim of mini-mountains, the water was the color of jade. I could tell it was deep and cold and (relatively) pure. Big boulders of rock fell straight down into the depths, making ever so tantalizing natural diving boards.

We drove around until we found the Tairen Guesthouse, the best hotel on the lake. It was a holiday weekend, but I was only guest. Maybe it was the RMB260 price tag for a double (I talked them into an 80 percent discount). I threw my things in the room, and attached myself to a local guy who promised to get me out on the water.

There is Great Wall here. Amazing Great Wall really. It tumbles, totally wild and ruined and yellowing, over a ridge of mini-mountains before winding up in a restored fortification. The surrounding slopes are all forest and scrub and big boulder: PERFECT for off-piste bushwhacking.

So I had the local guy boat me out to the fortification. To my surprise, there is an old couple living in the bunker atop it! I ditched my guide and bushwhacked for a bit before realizing that lack of long pants and bottled water was going to limit any orienteering. So I settled for a very leisurely tour around the lake.

It’s a big lake, but not vast. There are a couple of islands where you can land and seclude yourself. I recommend that. The water looks clean, but I do not recommend swimming.

That night, the guesthouse whipped up a decent feast of fresh fish and local veggies. Afterwards I sat on a porch overlooking a valley drinking beer. My friends in Beijing felt far away.

Now here’s the tricky part. Getting back is a task. I got up early to catch the banche to Zunhua. That’s the main town in the area. When you get to Zunhua’s long distance bus station, YOU MUST get a ticket for a bus which uses the Jingji expressway. I believe they do have these. If you do not, you will be condemned to the seventh level of hell, where everything is run by the Beijing Traffic Bureau. Most of the road is paved…but not all.

In any event, it was a weekend. The harvest: Shangguanghu and the Tairen Guesthouse. Doing it for you, people.