WIN a LUXURY WEEKEND at the JW MARRIOTT--This Contest is Closed
TWO LUCKY PEOPLE, one in Shanghai (post your entries here) and one in Beijing (post below), will win FREE weekend stays at the JW Marriott Hotel including breakfast for two valued at RMB2,500! Here's what you have to do. Tell us a story from one of your travels--the funnier, more absurd, more sublime the better. Best two stories wins the package! We'll announce the winner on April 1.
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on a hard seat train trip to Chengde, China, my boyfriend and I encountered a train employee who was rather taken by my non-chinese appearance. So much so that he took every chance to saddle up beside me and offer cigarettes as a gift (even though he would get yelled at by his supervisor, for sitting down on the job and smoking in the no smoking area). My mandarin is weak and he had no English so the whole LONG train ride was rife with naive attempts to understand that he was declaring his love for me. He even asked if I would watch the sunset from the train door with him. My boyfriend thought it quite the cultural experience at first but soon became annoyed by the train workers persistence. Nearing the end of our train trip, I flat out lied to the train worker and said that I was married, and he replied with some charades, which roughly translated that I had broke his heart.
No more hard seat trips for me. The Marriott would be a nice way to show my boyfriend that he is the only man in my life.
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My girlfriend and I have been in China since last August. Unlike the usual suspects who arrive in Beijing or Shanghai and never leave, we forced ourselves to venture into the depths of Shaanxi province, 13 hours from Xi’an, to undertake a 6 month teaching contract. For the last few months we have been freezing our balls off with no heating, and the only saving grace was the 20 layers of clothing that kept at least some of the brunt of cold from affecting my genitals. Our only reach to civilisation was to travel to Xi’an, and for the last couple of months that we were there, the road was closed due to the icy conditions.
We have seen it all in rural china!!! Our students opening the windows because they are complaining it is too warm when it is -13degrees outside; a mad men suggesting that we introduce bowler hats to china (somehow I don’t think this will happen); sick bags spilling over in the bus and being left to smell for 13 hours; dogs being shot in front of our eyes and then served to the neighbouring table. Then take for example the time we went to treat ourselves by splashing out on a lovely 30RMB pizza in the only western(ish) restaurant in our city (a little more than the 4RMB bowl of noodles that we usually had to eat for dinner). There was a limited option of pizzas and given the rife blue ear disease in local pigs, we always requested no pork. This seemed no problem for our lovely waitress, who happily pointed out a pork free option on the Chinese character menu. Now I have seen and even tried some strange things in dining (you all know the things I am talking about – pigs ears, chicken feet etc), but I would never have imagined that I would have received a pizza quite like the one that arrived at our table. When I think of pizza, I think of olive, peppers, artichoke, parmesan, and mozzarella. I don’t think of apples, bananas, grapes with seeds, tomatoes and cheese. Why the Chinese thought YUM at this combination I have no idea.
Another example has to be the time where I was enjoying a coffee in one of the only coffee shops in our city (none other than KFC – there wasn’t even a McDonalds to compete with it!). Having been in China for several months by this time, I was quite immune to the strange habits of the Chinese. However, nothing can normalise the sight of a mother sitting at a KFC table holding her baby at arms length in order to allow it to pee on the floor when there is in fact a toilet only 10yards away. WHY? WHY? WHY? I have come to terms with the slit in baby suits for the conveniences of this act and I can even appreciate the environmental advantage, BUT keep it outside please. I have to say that whenever I have a child it will be sponsored by Pampers and I am proud.
My girlfriend and I have arrived back in Beijing and are trying to recover from our rural china adventure. Please pamper us!!!!!
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Calumthom, your tale of woe and hardship tugs hard at our heartstrings and despite the strong arguments from non-gay men and non-married women above, we gladly will reward you with a a stay at JW and officially welcome you BACK TO CIVILIZATION! Drop me an email at leemack@cityweekend.com.cn and I'll hook you up with the voucher. Best, CW
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i was on a little holiday in HK, and it was Chinese New Yr so i wandered around to the clubby part of town, but it was only 11:00, so things seemed kinda quiet. i wandered by one place where a few guys were hanging out by the door. "oh, i was just wondering what kind of music is happening tonight." "What are you after?" "Um...." (very long pause as a i racked my brain) "electro rock, maybe?" "Yeah, the dj could go there tonight." i paused to look around a bit. "Say, i guess it's all... boys in there?" "Oh yeah, it's all boys," the door guy laughed. "Honey, if you're after straight bars, walk that way," he said pointing east. "Or hey if you want to come in, we'll let you in for free." "Uh, ok sure i'll check it out." What was there to lose? I'll try not to be too slutty."
So this gay club turned out to quite the packed little joint.
After feeling conspicuous hovering by the dance floor where a creepy older guy was also hovering, i met a handful of nice boys and we shot the breeze about people getting eaten by escaped zoo creatures; how "chinkees are no fun" and don't count down to New Year (as quoted by the chinese dude); Facebook; how complicated Facebook can be when you're still partly in the closet (or still married even); and how glaringly obvious that i wasn't from HK, though nobody knew if i was gay or not.
The bangin' remix of Diamond's are a Girls Best Friend had me feelin' pretty happy. But by the time i got to dancing they were onto the cheezy gay trance, and i didn't stay much longer.
Anyhow, my girlfriend is annoyed that i think it's so funny when people think i'm gay, so a luxurious romantic wkend out would pbly give us lots of chances to express our heterosexual natures.
Peace, statusq