We should call this a National Incident, or -- rather -- a Tiantongyuan Incident.

Turns out that when the Jing goes totally all-heck bolonzos (that's a David Feng aka Beijingologist term meaning "total nuts") on cockroaches in less than 48 hours' time...

...Tiantongyuan, home to the most way-out-north-there bits of the Mozart Line (aka Subway Line 5), will miss out.

This is, I'm telling ya -- a Tiantongyuan incident.

And here's why: it's all in the numbers.

Tiantongyuan has got to of some scale to get a Subway connection. You can't really hook up Line 99 to your hamlet out in western Beijing, so you have to be of size. Turns out it's home to 300,000 and counting.

Big enough -- fair enough. Except for -- it ain't central Changping. Yep, Tiantongyuan is "way-out-there" enough to be considered part of Changping! The end result: Changping, too, is in on the Total Cockroach Annihilation Act, but -- wait -- only central Changping is in.

And Tiantongyuan ain't part of urban Changping.

Not a lot of expats do Tiantongyuan (this isn't exactly expat territory), but here's a Lernstück:

1. When the Roach Exterminators invade your home on the 6th, think about the roach-threatened Tiantongyuaners missing out on the action.

2. Let's hope that Tiantongyuaners get their fair share of the Total and Utter Roach Anniliation Movement -- in good time, if things work out well.

Roaches are threats to all of us, whether we live in Tiantongyuan, Tian'anmen or Timbuktu. Let's not forget this or that part of the Jing.

We don't want a cockroach incident, thanks very much...