The best things in life are free; the exhilaration of meeting a deadline, the joy of catching up with an old friend, a lie in, a relentless case of the giggles… But out of all the things that are wonderful and complimentary in this world, my favourite is the feeling of falling in love.

Why is that when you fall in love the world becomes a brighter place? You have a bubbling anticipation in the pit of your stomach as you wonder when you might see them again…When they say your name, you feel your heart flutter… Suddenly this person is all you can think about…your life is falling to pieces… and yet you’ve never felt higher or happier.

Those who’ve been ‘love struck’ are easy to pick out of the crowd; they’re the ones who are smiling, holding doors open for strangers, and offering free hugs to their smelly next door neighbors. The last time I fell in love I gave a hundred kuai tip to a taxi driver and insisted he buy his wife some flowers, I gave away my umbrella on a stormy day, and spent a fortune on new underwear.

If only I could bottle this feeling and sell it; it could save marriages, cure depression…Heck, could it even put a stop to war?! But wait, this is my temporary love-induced euphoria speaking…Realistically it would be sold on the black market and become the hottest new rave drug.

Love and the bizarre effect it has on us has inspired writers, musicians, and poets for centuries. It’s something that will never cease to arouse our fascination, and is something that will at some point or another grasp us all when we least expect it. But what is it that really causes us to behave like the air we breathe has been laced with caffeine?

Tummy Butterflies
That lurch in your stomach that you feel when you see the one you’ve fallen for can be one of the nicest feelings you’ll ever experience. Are you going to throw up? Are you going to collapse? Are you going to do a tap dance? Who cares…All we know is it feels great.

Scientists have found that a chemical called phenylethylamine, also known as PEA, creates an emotional response equivalent to a high on drugs. This chemical is the closest we can get to a natural high. Therefore, it’s understandable how people such as myself, can become love junkies. Whenever you meet a person who catches your attention and ticks all the right boxes, your body releases a shot of PEA, and before you know it, you’re smitten and out of your face on love.

Loss of Appetite
A-ha, the diet that never fails; fall in love and drop a dress size! But what is it about falling for someone that fills you up so completely that you no longer need to refuel with food? Researchers have found that the initial giddiness that we experience when first falling in love is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine, yes PEA again, that our bodies are releasing. When Dopamine and Norepinephrine are mixed, they produce the feelings of elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, cravings, and loss of appetite.
As Mother Teresa said, “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” Food is for wimps; hit me up with another dose of the good stuff, Cupid.

Inability to concentrate
The Romans likened true love to being struck in the heart by Cupid's arrow. When shot, victims would go into a trance, a lot like a drug-induced euphoria. Sound familiar? Just how much time out of your day have you spent daydreaming about the object of your affection, and just how many times have you refreshed your inbox checking for messages from him or her?

Researchers have used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to see the effect on people's brains when they look at a photograph of their love target. The scans showed increased blood flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine - associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, just like an alcoholic craves a whisky and coke or 12, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.

Researchers at the University College London discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, which means that as the love bug gets you in its grip, you may begin to idealize the object of your affection. This can explain why when we fall in love, we tend to think of this person as perfection personified.

Shyness

In the early stages of love, it can be hard to behave normally when in the company of that special someone. Take myself as an example; I’m a whiz at the old flirty email, a dynamo at texting, and though I’m not especially proud of this, I can webcam my ass off. But put me face-to-face with someone I’ve fallen for, and I have all the wit of a tomato. When I need my charm and charisma most, it fails me, rendering me a gibbering self-loathing red-faced mess. A first date in my shoes usually goes along the same lines as Superman snuggling a girl with a Kryptonite belly ring.

Darn our feeble nature that causes us to blush, stammer, and say stupid things when we’re nervous. Why is it that when we most want to act as cool as the Fonz, we end up acting like the not-so-cool flame-haired Ralph Malph?

As we discovered earlier, we have a knack of idealising the person we have fallen for. Sometimes our time spent daydreaming about this ‘fallen angel’, can awaken our insecurities. It may lead you to question yourself, e.g. ‘how on earth could someone so amazing feel the same way about me?’

Psycholgists have coined the term ‘limerence’ to explain this cringe-inducing state. To you and I non-psychologists, we can call it a ‘crush’. During this time, we may experience awkwardness, stuttering, and shyness.

All of these states we have brought on ourselves by our own insecurities and need for reassurance. Unfortunately, there is no cure for this reaction. If there were a pill to stop a person blushing every time they’re around the one they’ve fallen for, I would surely be at the front of the checkout queue to purchase it, along with my trolleys full of new bras.

All relationships begin with a phase of crippling awkwardness. The good thing is that this is a great way to find out whether they really like you too. If you’ve stammered your way through dinner, blushed until your face has pulsated purple, and randomly droned on about boring topics, and they’re still standing next to you…They’re a keeper.

Fear

Anyone who has fallen in love with someone they shouldn’t have, or lost the one they love, will have developed a sense of fear and anxiety when they realize they are falling for someone new. First love is pure, but by the second, third, and fourth trip down ‘the long and winding road to a heart’, you may have come to associate love with the inevitable pain that goes hand-in-hand with a break up. As Eric Berne said, 'Love is a sweet trap from which no one departs without tears'.

Once you’ve fallen in love with someone, you’ll find you want to be around them all the time. And as with anything precious in life, you hope you never lose it. Research has shown that “fear of loss of love of someone forms a 1/6th of all human basic fears.” When you find something special, you naturally begin to imagine all the scenarios that could take away your slice of heaven. You may start to question whether the person feels the same way about you, or whether you have a future together. Feelings of insecurity and fear are natural human instincts. However, it’s important not to let them tarnish the wonderful time you’re having.

A very weird, yet wise man, named Ned Rocknroll (yes, really), once said, “there is no destination. The journey is now.” So do you really want to worry whether you can hold on to your love tomorrow and the day after, or do you want to make the most of the time you have with him/her today?

Take the advice of a love junkie, and give PEAS a chance.