Meeting your boyfriend or girlfriend’s parents for the first time can make even the most confident person’s knees knock. Unlike a job interview, where if you make a complete tit of yourself you can walk away and never have to face the same people again, when you meet the parents you have the added pressure of making them like you enough to think that you’re good enough for their son/daughter. And I’m sure it’s the same when you ask all parents as when you ask my dearest Baba about the prospect of a significant male in my life, his staple answer will undoubtedly always be, “no man is good enough for my daughter”.

It’s our awareness of these delusional parents that makes us conscious of how crucial that first meeting with potential future in-laws is. As soon as the topic is mentioned, worst case scenarios begin to whizz through our heads: What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m not attractive enough? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I accidentally insult them? What if? What if…? What IF…??

Now imagine all of the additional what ifs there were whizzing around my little head when I was faced with meeting my Chinese boyfriend’s parents for the first time… ALONE and communicating solely in Chinese. This felt like every exam I’d ever taken rolled into one jumbo sized nerve-racking assessment complete with spotlight.

Not only did having to meet my boyfriend’s parents without him present mean that I lost my number one supporter, I also got to miss out on seeing how he and his parents interact together as a family which can be a very enlightening experience, as my best friend found out recently when she met her boyfriend’s parents for the first time. At first she thought she misheard what his father had said when he greeted his son, so she ignored it. But the second time she heard it swiftly made her excuses and hurried to the washroom to call me. “His Dad calls him ‘BABY’.” Say what? Yes, this 6 foot four inch fireman’s father had specifically asked his son, “do you want a cup of tea, baby?” Suddenly her boyfriend’s childlike behavior during their 12 month relationship began to make complete sense.

Witnessing first hand how your bf/gf behaves around his parents and seeing how they treat him or her can tell you so much about their upbringing, values and standards.
So you see, meeting the parents may seem like a horrendously daunting prospect, but it’s very necessary to see whether your boyfriend or girlfriend come from odd families who have weird pet names for one another. It’s also a grand opportunity to peer into the future and have a sneaky peek at what your boyfriend / girlfriend will look like in 30 years time!

Nikki Aaron