Yep, I have a kid-a bouncy, happy, healthy baby boy who arrived 7 months ago and thus began my parenting odyssey. But wait, I may be a new mother to a human pup but I’ve been a mother of another sorts for many years prior to Henry’s appearance. I am a pet owner. I live in Beijing, I have a new baby and I have pets. Not just one pet, mind you, noooooo, I couldn’t be happy with just one small, teeny-weeny cat called Mooncake, saved from the streets of San Li Tun during the October holiday of my first year in Beijing. Moonies is weird, quiet and small, hardly noticeable as he slinks and slunks his way around the house. Nope, I had to have a friend for said cat. So along came MeiFan, a bit more vocal and noticeable than Moonies (yes, I have strange penchant for naming my feline companions after foods).Then I had to have a little black English Cocker Spaniel we called Spencer. You’d think I would have been satisfied with that but alas, when the hairless pup we called Henry was still but a gestational sac, hardly seen by ultrasound, I decided I had to rescue this adorable yellow lab puppy from the side of the road where she was for sale, being held captive in a cage, smothered by car exhaust for hours and hours, day after day, with her 6 brothers and sisters. I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to take all of them home but my husband seriously almost divorced me over my begging to take one of those fat yellow puppies to the bosom of our animal-loving home. You know the old cliché-kid finds scrawny, flea-infested, mange-ridden puppy, kids whines to mother “Mommy, can I keep it?” Well, that was me with my husband. I think I finally had to win some sort of bet or make some sort of deal with the devil to get that little ball of puppiness and joy. We took this tiny bundle home, (she fit in one hand) named her Lu Lu, and introduced her to her new brothers. Of course, within 3 months, that tiny bundle morphed into a gigantic, and I do mean GIGANTIC, floppy mess of yellow fur, sharp teeth, long limbs, and complete idiocy who nearly had me checking myself in for serious psychiatric evaluation.

When Lu Lu was in the throes of her most trying puppyhood issues, I gave birth to our first human, but technically, our fifth child. Having pets seriously got me ready for motherhood in so many ways. Pets depend on us for attention, social direction, food and shelter, or care when they are injured or ill. Having to feed, exercise, interact with my pets, prepared me for the time involved in doing the same things with the baby. Pets get sick and having had to take very sick puppies or kitties to the doctor for treatment, sometimes even life-saving treatment as in the case of Lu Lu getting parvo at 4 months, I was ready and didn’t immediately freak completely out the first time Henry got a fever or a chest infection. I am prone to hysteria so nursing various animal babies through illness equipped me to handle my fear when helping Henry get better.

I get asked a lot about how I handle having pets in Beijing and now I’m frequently asked about how I handle having pets and kids in Beijing. Well, I have a few tips for those who have pets or are considering getting a pet for your family. I believe pets are an essential part of growing up and that my family would not be complete without them but I know many children and grown-ups have allergies or other aversions to animals so a dog or a cat pet may not be an option but there are other pet options (turtles, snails, crickets). Still, adopting a pet into your family is a serious issue and there are a few things you should consider before you make this commitment. Children can learn to love, care for and respect other creatures, if given the opportunity, time and patience to do so. Keeping in mind a few pointers can help you and your children have a healthy, happy relationship with any kind of pet for years to come.

First rule: Do Your Research! Choose the right pet. If you do not have a family pet do your research on the type of animal (dog, cat, turtle, pig) and the right breed to fit in with your family. That adorable spotty Dalmatian may be cute now, but they grow up and tend to be one-person, not-too-keen-on-kids, kind of dogs. Not always, of course, but doing your research into breeds can really help you to make informed choices about the basic temperaments of certain pets. In Beijing, “breeders” are notorious for taking baby animals away from their mothers WAY too early. This can cause all kinds of issues with a developing animal so be sure you’re looking into the breeding environment for any pet you’re choosing as well. Buying a little puppy off the street or a so-called “pet store” may seem like a kind thing to do to rescue it from a life of cages and car exhaust but when you get it home you may find you have more than you bargained for. Note: See "LuLu" above!

Second Rule: Parents should always supervise their kids and animals when they are together. NEVER leave a young child unattended with a pet. It only takes a split second for a bad move from a child to turn into a bad move from the pet and injury occurs. But, if your pet is showing signs of aggression, and you truly believe your children are in any danger, it would probably be best to find another home for your pet. Children also need to be taught to respect their pet's needs and feelings. However, it is unreasonable to expect a child to fully care for a pet, until they are mature enough to care for themselves. Parents must realize that when getting a pet for their child, most times the parent will end up taking care of the pet and in addition, you are taking on the responsibility of teaching your child how to properly care for a pet with kindness and respect. If this is not something you are prepared to do, then don’t get a pet. Too many animals in Beijing suffer from neglect and abuse because some genius thinks it’s cool to get an expensive dog and then can’t be bothered to keep it groomed, walked and they end up languishing in the back yard, or worse, cooped up in an apartment, day after day with no love, attention or joy. Not fair, folks. Often, a parent expects the pet to respect the child more than they expect the child to respect the pet. This is just not a sensible expectation. To many owners, pets can symbolize children. They depend on us for attention, social direction, food and shelter, or care when they are injured or ill. People frequently experiment with "parenting" a pet before having children. When the real children arrive, however, pet owners may suddenly be reminded that pets are animals. This is an important distinction. Pets are ANIMALS, not kids. They have animal instincts and they will always behave like an animal. They think, learn, behave, and react as animals. They can't be expected to reason or think things through. Children must be taught proper behavior around animals. Millions of pets are turned into shelters and destroyed for biting kids who have poked them with sticks, kicked them, pinched them or hurt them in some way, bounced on them, hit them, tried to ride them, or teased them, often while they are tied up and can’t escape a frustrating situation. Teaching children the safe ways to approach all animals, (never while eating or sleeping), to respect them and treat them kindly, and making sure pets are well socialized, trained, and protected from enthusiastic but potentially pain-causing children is the best way to help your child develop a safe and fun relationship with a pet.