As much as we all look forward to catching up with our kith and kin, welcoming relatives into our expat world can be an absolute delight or a complete nightmare—especially where non-Mandarin speaking friends and family are concerned.

“My mother-in-law’s first visit was a complete disaster,” says Nicole. “Though we tried to be accommodating, we had our three kids to consider, too. My mother-in-law resented this, especially after ‘having come all the way to China from New York,’ and ended up catching an earlier flight home.”

Fortunately, it was a learning experience and on subsequent visits, Nicole’s mother-in-law traveled with a close friend. Nicole also hired a driver so they could come and go as they pleased. “If only we had thought of this earlier,” she laments.

Fellow expat Marie-Helene agrees that foresight and planning are mutually beneficial. “We always make an effort to accommodate my husband’s parents when they visit. Unfortunately, our apartment just isn’t big enough to host guests for a long period.”

Luckily, a single friend kindly suggested the in-laws stay at his place whenever he’s away. “He tells us when his place will be free and we update the folks on the availability of their ‘Beijing pad,’” says Marie-Helene. “I think they enjoy having some time to themselves,” she says, “and this way, they can avoid the bath and bed-time chaos!”

Still, even the most well-prepared hosts can be caught off-guard. I remember getting a call one morning from a friend requesting an urgent chat. Upon seeing her father at the airport, she discovered that he had brought along an unexpected guest: his new, significantly younger girlfriend. Her mystified daughter hugged her Grandad and asked if this was her “new Grandma.” A few sharp intakes of breath later and Grandad and his lady love were dispatched to a nearby hotel.