After a muscle spasm in my neck rendered me incapacitated for a day, I really couldn't contemplate a night out on the town. Then again, I couldn't even contemplate taking the elevator downstairs to buy a bunch of bananas.

Painkiller therapy has come a long way these days, however, so when I realized that I wasn't completely useless and could actually bob my head a bit to the the last mash-up and filthy electro DJ Wordy remix that's been the replay standard on my iTunes in recent weeks, I knew I had to go boating.

I know, I know. What the hell is a small-town girl living in a lonely world like myself doing going out on a Tuesday?

When your friends open a venue, what you should probably do is send them a card and bake them a cake. Or at very least, show up on the soft opening to congratulate them personally over a couple of beers. BB (Deng) and Allen (Chen) are my friends. Such things tend to happen after you see people at events every weekend, hang out, drink, and have a generally good time dancing and having awesome chats. They keep the opening of the venue a surprise to me and everyone else, and I am surprised and give them a bit of trouble over not providing me advance notice for a listing, but I feel like I have the right to give them a hard time and play around for awhile. They are at the helm of the new management of The Boat, so I damned injuries and made my way over to give my warmest regards.

If you're looking for a completely unobjective, no-frills bar review, this isn't it. Even BB and Allen told me that they were skeptical that I'd be negative with them on the particulars of the venue.

On the other hand, The Boat is a wicked kind of place. Not only can you walk there from the heart of Sanlitun in ten minutes, it's right on the scenic Liangma River, and affords a beautiful view of something tranquil at the very moment of Sanlitun madness you crave it. There are two floors, a roof-top deck, and even a psychedelic, red-painted VIP section right behind the DJ booth that BB decorated herself. The drinks are absurdly reasonably-priced, the crowd is hip and fun, and most significantly...the music is never, ever going to be dodgy.

The location might be great, but so many other venues are convenient for me. This one is different because there are two people who know their music running the game. If you've ever had an incredible time at White Rabbit, just consider for a moment that it might just be due to the fact that a group of DJs are in charge of managing the place.

There's something really nice about being on a riverboat for a party listening to music. It's comfortable and classy, but even in such a sophisticated venue ridiculous things transpire. In addition to witnessing That's Beijing's Matt Jager tackle half of humanity onto the floor in homoerotic drunken ecstasy, Lee Mack inadvertently grabbed my breast on the dancefloor and copped and unforgiving feel. I played 1950s pin-up with BOA's Carissa Welton and Propaganda Unit's Ilsa McBryde on the couches, posing like a feline for photos when DJ Thome Tomato was throwing the dirtiest breaks of the night. Acupuncture Records' manager Miao Wong and I talked business over DJ Pancake Lee's set, shaking our little asses to the groove, Maggie Cheung fed me a slice of perfect pizza, and the night ended as BB threw The Smiths' "This Charming Man" to Thomas Gaestadius and I screaming out every word over a few delicious shots on the dancefloor. Crazy kind of things happen there too, and you'll welcome them.

It was a happily-ever-after kind of night. I am going back to The Boat all the time, especially after the weather wams up a bit an I'm sure it will be the place to be on a hot summer night. I'll bring my laptop, and have coffee in the afternoon over my impending deadlines, then forget them after a couple beers at night over a few hours listening to great bands or dancing to the best DJs in town, watching the river rage alongside me. I have no compunctions declaring that it will be one hell of a night, just like the first I had there.