Life coaches are experts in you, your life and the inner workings of your brain. But they’re also expensive—like ¥2,000 an hour expensive. So we’ve talked to some of Beijing and Shanghai’s best coaches and stolen their secrets. Read on to discover how you can make your life better in 2012 and activate whatever powers—human, superhuman or otherwise—lie within you.

Want more secrets of success? Check out more tips straight from several Shanghai-based life coaches

Secret 1

Move the Goal Posts

There’s no hiding from Shanghai-based life coach and former Singapore Air Force lieutenant-colonel Jeff Tan. He’s heard every excuse for procrastinating. Happily, he has a few secrets to overcoming the natural urge to put things off.

“What I’ve experienced is that a lot of people who want to switch their lives tend to set a goal that is just huge. And huge goals are okay, but then they get the fear and procrastinate—because it’s just too big! And then the moon and sun are not aligned, and Venus and Jupiter are out of sync. They’re looking for the perfect moment, maybe waiting for the economy to turn. Well, it’s turned, but not the way we wanted it to.

“When we wait for the right time to take action, we never get started on making change. Now, here’s the secret: make it smaller! By setting smaller, more quickly achievable goals, your mind relaxes and change is less of a big deal. Smaller steps are more likely to lead to accomplishing the larger goal in the end.

“The other obstacle is putting too long a time frame on your goal, so things don’t change. One difference between a real goal and a distant dream is the time frame you put on it.”

Secret 2

Be Happy

Sure, it’s easier said than done, but Dalida Turkovic from Beijing's Small Steps Coaching says, “Don’t allow all your happiness and fulfillment to depend on solely a certain career or a person. Look for happiness as part of your daily being.”

We all know life is a rollercoaster, and when a new job or partner comes into our lives, a high is expected. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always last long.

“Coaching is about questions and learning how to answer your own questions about life by shifting your perspective,” Turkovic says. And to figure out what makes your inner being happy, she suggests slowing down and spending time twice a day by yourself. During the day, take a walk, meditate or do something active on your own to reflect on what really makes you happy. At night, reflect before you go to sleep and write down three things you are grateful for in your life—you’ll realize you had a lot more going for you than you thought.

Being grateful for what you already have is the first step to living a long and fulfilling life, so look at life with “the glass half full” view, because you deserve to be happy.

Secret 3

Strip! The Answer’s in the Onion

The new year is synonymous with fresh beginnings and change. But before you start thinking about launching a brand new you, it’s important do the groundwork, says Tan. “You are less likely to succeed if you don’t examine why you’re setting yourself new targets or goals in the first place. And that means stripping off the onion-like layers of your identity until you get to a core of self-awareness.

"Get a pen and paper and do a New Year’s inventory on yourself. Try to strip the ‘should’ out of what you think you want to do and you will start to see your core values emerge.”

Once the unconscious mind begins to be activated, then values, beliefs, purpose and identity come to the fore. To know what these are puts people in a stronger position to align who they really are with the goals they set. “What you are mining for is ‘why’ you want to change, not ‘what,’” says Tan. “Once you know why you want to make a change, then your limiting beliefs and blockages will begin to fall away.

"There is no perfect moment to begin to peel your personal onion… so what are you waiting for?”

Secret 4

Say It Loud: The Stage Is Yours

Clubs dedicated to the art of public speaking have been around for many years, but there is often a perception that they exist purely for people who have to give speeches and presentations in their jobs. Not so, says Olivia Xiao, a coach at REV—learning the art of public address can change your life and liberate you in ways you never considered before.

Why would anyone terrify themselves by getting up and speaking in front of a crowd of people if they can avoid it? As it happens, taking to the podium and giving a speech can not only bring about a huge transformation in your self confidence, but it can fulfill dormant dreams of recognition, achievement, and even adventure.

Beijing has several Toastmasters clubs where people from all walks of life can meet regularly to give a short talk and have their presentation skills evaluated in a constructive way. People find they really thrive and grow in such an environment, and it impacts the rest of their lives. Stepping out of your comfort zone repeatedly is a workout for your confidence muscle. Soon it becomes second nature, and “I can’t…” loses its power. So this year, why not say something loud?

Secret 5

Celebrate!

Trying to reach our goals can be stressful, but it doesn’t all have to be hard work. Tracy Driscoll often has her clients create a list of 20 ways to celebrate, whether it be taking a mental health day during the workweek or treating yourself to a massage. It doesn’t have to always involve spending money—you can get creative with activities that will make you happy, like going for a swim or taking a hike.

It’s also often helpful to have friends make their own lists of ways to celebrate, which you can share with each other for celebratory inspiration. And the celebrations don’t have to wait for the end of your big project—plan mini milestones, and celebrate those.

Accomplishing anything that gets you a step closer to your end goal merits a pat on the back and praise from your companions. Driscoll suggests telling at least three of the closest people in your life about your goals. This small circle of support is not only there to nag you, but they also get to celebrate with you when you do meet your goals.

Secret 6

Prepare for Second

You might want to think twice before playing poker with Morry Morgan, the co-founder and Marketing Director of Clark Morgan Corporate Training and author of Selling Big to China. On the other hand, he would be a good one to have on your side in a negotiation.

Whether you’re renewing an employment contract or a rental contract, negotiation can be a stressful experience.

“Regardless of whether or not you have anything to fear, you should have a BATNA,” says Morgan. “BATNA stands for 'Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement', which essentially means, a second choice.” No matter what unpleasant surprises you might encounter in a negotiation, Morgan says you can take them in stride if you’ve lined up your BATNA’s.

“You need to be thinking: 'what’s my BATNA?' The more you have, the more leverage you have. Once you have a BATNA, you immediately start to feel more confident, and that is projected in your mannerisms. It’s an unconscious thing, but other people will feel it.

“BATNA is only as relevant as the other person thinks it is. It’s all about perceived position, or perceived value. In that sense, BATNA can also be excellent as a poker-type bluff. You may not have a back-up plan, but it’s how you create the impression that you do, as BATNA is in the eye of your opponent.”

Morgan points out that this is not about telling lies, it’s unsettling your opponent without being confrontational. You’re simply letting him make an assumption—in the end, it’s all part of the game.

Secret 7

Don't Forget to Dream

In life, there is a certain path that the world tells us is the right one to take. We’re supposed to go to school and get a degree and then a job, then get married, have kids and repeat. And throughout these milestones, many of us get so caught up in doing what is expected from society that we forget to dream.

Tracy Driscoll from Aspire Coaching explains that being able to visualize your life’s dreams is one of the most powerful secrets to success—studies have shown that the CEOs of many companies have clear visualizations of their end goals before they even figure out what steps they need to reach them.

Take time to write down exactly what you want in life, and create a way to visualize it. You can print out a picture of the new house you want to buy, or just write a huge check for yourself, to the amount you want to make this year.

And “once you have a clear vision of your dreams,” Driscoll says, “you need to put an expiration date on it.” Once you’ve identified and visualized your goal, and determined when you want to accomplish it, you can create a practical timeline of how to get there.