Morning Sunshine

9:00 a.m. I wake up to an annoying phone call. “Do you want to buy an apartment or, perhaps, sell one?” I look at the clock. I just cannot. I go back to sleep.

11:00 I wake up finally. Time to start the day. First things first, I head to the gym.

Gettin' Beast

11:10 I meet up with my personal trainer, Felix. He tells me we’re doing bench press today. I think to myself. Ooh, my favorite.

11:30 “Are you serious? 350 pounds? Hell naw, I can’t do that,” I say to my trainer. I’m working out with Bobby, my best friend since I was 5 and Bling’s PR manager, David. Bobby starts talking trash and David gets inspirational and yells, “YOU CAN DO IT!”

11:35 NEW KENDOGG RECORD! 350 lbs! I call my friend, super basketball agent Simon Huang to tell him about my feat.

12:00 p.m. Head back to my pad. Hit the shower, insert my iPod into my iPod stand and start listening to the new mix Keza’s personally made for me.

Business Lunch

12:30 I walk into All-Star to see my partners. I order the business-set lunch, prepared by Fabio our Michelin-star Chef. I’m wondering if he can make me Kung Pao Chicken.

12:35 I get a message on my Blackberry from Aaron Goodwin, a sports agent in America. He lets me know that some of his players from the NBA want to hang out today.

12:48 Sebastien Noat calls me to discuss an upcoming project, a food and beverage training school to be launched in April next year.

1:25 I meet with the general manager at Bling for the weekly briefing and to make sure everything is set for all the NBA players coming to party tonight.

Recess

2:13 I head out for a basketball game with our All-Star Basketball Team. For the past three years in a row. Our average height is 6’6” or 198cm. 4:48 Final Score: All-Star Basketball Team, 110. Beijing Sports University, 78. Just like that!

NBA Boys

5:36 Just finished showering, dressed, and feeling “So fresh, and so clean clean.” I head to the Wukesong Basketball Stadium for the NBA Players’ Reception.

7:13 I’m talking to Kareen Abdul-Jabbar and A.C. Green (from Showtime Lakers!!), two of my childhood idols. I think to myself (again), “Just like that!”

8:04 I’m at the Ritz-Carlton talking to Corey Maggette, Stephen Jackson, Al Harrington, DeMarcus Nelson, and Charlie Villanueva. They all want to get suits made and hit up Bling.

9:40 I’m in DeMarcus’ room, chillin’ with the guys and looking at the fake names they registered themselves under. Maggette is Sammy Sosa. Jackson is Captain Fruity Pebbles. The rookies… “just cannot!”

Blingin' Out

10:30 Charlie V and DeMarcus are heading to Bling. When we get there we see 200 motorcycles parked outside. The players ask if we’re at some Ruff Ryder event.

10:40 We’re walking in the club and the first person I see is Kristen Lum, our super-energizer bunny Communications Director, who comes running and gives me a bear hug. She’s talking 2,000 words per minute and I think to myself, “No more chocolate lava cake for her.” I’m making my rounds around the club, greeting all of our VIPs.

12:20 a.m. Stephen Jackson and Al Harrington arrive at Bling. I look on the dance floor and see David with his shirt unbuttoned, completely soaked with eight hot girls in high-heels grinding on him. And I think, “My love. Just like that!”

2:02 I’m blinded by all the sparklers. I search out the source and find Sebastian holding two bottles of Pommery, smiling from ear-to-ear with his shirt unbuttoned to the very last two. SO SEXY!

Late Night

4:00 I’m hungry. I wait for Keza to finish his set and we head downstairs to All-Star, and Linges, All-Star’s general manager, has prepared my usual grilled rib-eye steak and eggs and Keza’s pancakes. Thank God All-Star is open 24 hours.

5:05 I’m home and calling my wife, my better half, Jennifer. I make sure to tell her I love her before I pass out. I am too drunk.