Foreigners on what it's like being bold and beautiful in Beijing

Spend so much as a weekend in Beijing, and you will meet someone who has been in a movie, commercial or magazine spread. Stay a little longer, and you will discover three classic responses to these gigs: bemusement (“China is such an odd and wondrous place—I got to be in a movie.”), abject arrogance (“They kept telling me how beautiful I was!”) and, most annoyingly, bemused arrogance (“China is such an odd and wondrous place, because they kept telling me how beautiful I was”).

A quick survey of my acquaintances revealed that two had served as Olympic models during the Games. Others had starred in everything from historical dramas to reality cooking shows. Photographer Chip Rountree played a Qing Dynasty-era Russian in Yuen Woo-Ping’s period piece “Su Qi Er” (Beggar Sue), while PR extraordinaire Santana Wulsin tore through a parking deck for a Mercedes-Benz viral spot. Even some of the pearly whites on subway ads belonged to friends. “They were offering ¥1,500 and a free whitening for a harmless, short photo shoot,” said Ashley Eldridge of her teeth modeling experience.

Not wanting to be the odd man out, I set out to find work as an actor or model. After sending out three e-mail responses to classifieds, I was offered “representation” by three different agencies. I eventually decided that a Miss Hepburn Kong was the perfect agent to advance my burgeoning career. Within 30 minutes of first speaking to her, she called me with a gig. My “head shot,” a topless photo taken at last month’s kickball tournament, had convinced them that I could play the Michael Phelps role in an aquatic mobile phone commercial later that week.

But on the morning of the shoot, I received a message. “Dear Jonny, I am sorry to tell you but they have found a foreigner that is even more Phelps than you.”

I guess I need to keep the day job.

Jonathan Haagen