CW’s columnist analyzes how people make friends in Beijing

Recently, I received a Facebook message from a stranger who wanted my advice on how to make friends in Beijing. Most would agree that making friends in Beijing is easy once you have an established a social group. In fact, if anything, most of us need to trim the fat. But for those just arriving, it 's a different story. I interviewed 40 expats in Beijing, who chose to stay anonymous, about how they first made friends in our fair city.

No one interviewed made any lasting friends at networking events (with the notable exception of soccer or rugby clubs and the Hash House Harriers). Social clubs in Beijing received poor reviews as well. “Most clubs are made up of desperate new arrivals who only go once and crazy older people who make it into their entire lives,” claimed one respondent.

According to the my research, the top four ways to make new friends are as follows: Number one, with 15 votes, is your job. “I met the people I worked with first who introduced us to their friends. That mushroomed into more friends. The silver bullet to meeting people in Beijing can be summed up in the term, ‘a friend of a friend is a friend in China.’”

Coming in second with 10 votes is the university. “Beijing is a very college scene already, and so alumni events are great ways to meet new people. I made friends pretty quickly after I connected with people from my alma mater.”

Third are language lessons with six votes. “The first people that I met were through Chinese language lessons. I started meeting people through them at social gatherings. All the people I know in Beijing now can be traced back to about three people I met in Chinese class. Last but not least, Nan Jie, with five votes is the default option for those who don’t have jobs, didn’t go to university and have no desire to speak Chinese.

Finally, an honorable mention goes to the last method: Temporarily hooking up with someone less attractive than you are who has been here longer. That's two votes.

Jonathan Haagen