Waiting tables is truly an art. You have to keep track of each dish on each table, be attentive and cordial without seeming overbearing, all while keeping your cool even if you’re serving the rudest jerk on the planet (believe me, I’ve been there). Foreigners in Beijing know that restaurant service is a work in progress in China. While Beijing’s Western restaurants have made some strides, are Chinese restaurants catching on?

In my experience, Chinese restaurants with great service are few and far between. Sure, there are plenty of explanations for why service might be understood differently here, but there’s no excuse for the disastrous performance of many a fuwuyuan. Yunnan restaurant In & Out is an exception. It takes the cake with food, décor and service. All the servers are ethnic minorities from Yunnan and they are always sweet, devoted and considerate. Owner Mr. Li says, “We require staff to treat guests like family. The waiters’ sincerity earns the loyalty of our guests.”

When I was a waitress, tips were the incentive, but this being non-existent in China makes motivating waitstaff more difficult. Li tries to build a fair and encouraging environment, and he even pays to send some staff members to Yunnan to visit their families each year. “We want them to improve, [so we] respect their efforts and assure them that they are working as part of a team.” I was pleased to hear this, because working in a restaurant is a huge team effort, and treating your staff well only leads to an overall better establishment.

Some Chinese restaurants think their service is great because their waiters never leave the tableside. I think this creates overbearing awkwardness. To give diners a pleasant experience and tend to their needs without unpleasantly domineering their dinner takes true finesse. Guest relations manager for Hua’s Restaurant. Rola Heng believes that it’s the little things that count. “They have to know what they’re serving and who they’re serving to,” she says. “It’s important to remember returning customers’ habits and be able to read them and anticipate their needs.”

Beijing’s restaurant scene, like the city itself, is constantly developing. As we say goodbye to hutongs and dirty bars serving fake alcohol, hopefully we can welcome new and improved service in local restaurants. While you may complain about the service now, I bet in the future you’ll miss and reminisce about the days of screaming “fuwuyuan!” when this necessity one day becomes taboo.