Whether you’re a social media baller who would rather photograph your night than enjoy it or a jaded hipster who will only party to a very specific genre of Northern European tech-house, played by the same five German/Dutch/Icelandic DJs, there is probably a club in this city for you. This is our roundup of what your favorite nightclub in Shanghai says about you.
Linx: You are in serious need of some face
Linx is the place to go when you're in need of some next-level mianzi, where you can be photographed looking fabulous with RMB12,000 bottles of Dom Perignon that are destined to remain uncorked. Your release at the end of a long work week comes from depicting a glamorous snapshot of your life as an episode of Entourage through your WeChat moments, opting to spare yourself the indignity of jumping up and down to impressively varied remixes of "I Love It" every Friday.
M1NT: You're an Oligarch, a finance-bro or a unattainable fashion model
Whether you’ve just been helicoptered in from your compound in Hongqiao or spent a sweaty metro ride trying not to crease your best dress for Ladies' Night, M1NT is the place to be for people who want to party hard with the upper echelons of society. You’re equally as likely to be a Russian supermodel who lives exclusively on a diet of champagne and canapes as you are an American tourist who wants a photo with the shark tank and a glimpse of whoever is currently being billed as China’s answer to Mark Zuckerberg. How did that student get into my members' only club? SECURITY! We'd stomp and make a fuss, but these are Louboutins.
ALL: You're still not over Shelter's closure
If ALL is your favorite, you probably rate music by BPM and spending your weeknights sharing Boiler Room videos on social media. You spend your weekends at ALL dancing solo in front of the decks while avoiding confused drunkards who have stumbled in from Perry’s. You desperately hope that ALL can fill the Shelter-shaped hole in your soul, and you’ll still tell anyone smoking in the stairwell that Shelter was WAY cooler with better music...even though the DJ lineup is exactly the same.
C’s: You're a broke-as-hell backbacker hippie
C’s is the kind of place you go when you’re clinging onto solvency until your next student loan payment, but still want to get frat boy-level wasted. Or maybe you’ve just blown all your cash on a flight to the next leg of your backpacking trip (probably Phuket or Bali) and need a watering hole full of similarly globetrotting individuals to throw back RMB15 beers with and talk about how spiritual Angkor Wat was and how you feel like you really know Asia after being here for three months. You're also the kind of person who rarely goes out in groups smaller than 15 people, and you often boast about how you "closed the bar" last weekend.
By day, you probably make copies and fetch coffee for a suit somewhere in Lujiazui. You have access to enough of your parents' money that you can buy countless bottles of champagne. You wouldn't be caught dead in C's. You don't have the amount of class required for M1NT and you have a penchant for "Top 40" anthems, because you love yelling "IT'S OUR SONG!" on the dancefloor.
Le Baron: Probably French
You wistfull reminisce about the halcyon days of Studio 54 in New York, even though you were born in 1992 and Studio 54 closed in 1980. You like to think of yourself as being in the know and have no problem negotiating the club’s Byzantine door policy. You know what’s in and who’s in, with a tasteful eye for plain black t-shirts and a tasteful ear for the carefully curated disco playlist that graces Le Baron’s confoundingly quiet sound-system every evening.
Your love of shirtless men with impossibly chiseled eight-packs and pole dancing is matched only by your love of endless and inventive remixes of "Firework" by Katy Perry. Whether you’re out to meet the man of your dreams or just a faithful hag accompanying her girls, Lucca is the rainbow-splattered haunt of the ultimate fun-loving party animal, fuelled by poppers and glitter, who never takes themselves too seriously.
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