#We didn't just consult that dude with prayer beads hanging outside Jing'an Temple. Meet our astrologist: A Taiwan transplant, Master Zhang Sheng-Shu is the author of 10 books and the purveyor of a five-million member strong [website](http://eng.click108.com) that seeks to explain ancient fortune-telling through modern science.
##Tiger (1950, 1962, 1974, 1986)
###The Tiger in 2010:
Tigers are the courageous iconoclasts of the Chinese zodiac. Brave and competitive, you Tigers dive into challenges at work, in life, and in love with unabashed zeal. But in the Year of the Tiger, you big cats tend to get kinda insecure and emotional. And all those tender little feelings will manifest themselves in the worst way imaginable.
If you get an inkling that something’s not going to your liking at work, your first instinct will be to get impatient. Who cares if your actions will offend subordinates and bosses? Pounce first, ask questions later! In love, on the other hand, insecurity takes its hold on you like a niggling ache. At best, you’ll find yourself relying on your partner for affirmation. At worst, you’ll focus all your nervous energy on your other half, demanding that he or she change to your liking. Needless to say, that’s a lot of pressure.
So in 2010, Tiger, when you’re unhappy and you know it, and you really want to change the world, there’s one word for you: Don’t. The Year of the Tiger is truly unsuitable for making any big changes. You must view any bad decisions made as good experiences had. Control your temper and seek inner peace.
###Shanghai Tiger: Ben Houge
**It looks like a rough year head...**
Normally I couldn’t give two figs about my horoscope, but lately I’ve read several that have been disturbingly right on. I recently left my day job of the past 12 years--audio design for videogames--and embarked on a career as an artist; 2010 will be the make it / break it year for me.
My biggest ambition this year is to finish the CD I’ve been planning for the past five years--a set of synth-pop songs about my experience in Shanghai. I’m planning a big China tour in support of it. I’m also doing more audiovisual installation work, like this piece at OV Gallery.
Pounce first, as questions later? Check. Lately (abetted by Twitter), I’ve caught myself spouting off smug artistic pronouncements without regard for whom I might offend. Serious discussion is vital, but in 2010, I’m making a conscious effort to be more constructive.
Insecure and emotional? Totally. My favorite pastime lately has been to listen to old Paul Simon recordings, drinking whiskey and weeping.
**Fuck, marry, or kill: Sarah Palin, Elizabeth Edwards, Hillary Clinton?**
First priority: destroy Sarah Palin. Everything I’ve heard come out of her mouth has been such an embarrassment. I’d probably marry Hillary Clinton. She’s razor sharp, eloquent, and well-traveled. She also seems quite energetic and assertive, which suggests a certain confidence in fulfilling her, um, marital obligations. No strong feelings towards Elizabeth Edwards, but for a fling, why not?
**Tiger celebs:** Marilyn Monroe, Karl Marx, Stephen Chow
**Get it on with:** Horse and Dog
##Monkey (1956, 1968, 1980, 1992)
###The Monkey in 2010:
You mischievous swingers. You Monkeys are easily bored, and everyone you’ve ever gone out with knows it. Perhaps that’s why you are cursed to spend 2010 breaking up and getting back together with a certain someone. When you’re apart, you miss each other bad. When you’re together, you squabble over every little thing. Is there no end in sight? Not this year, I’m afraid.
While you’re monkeying around out there, competitors are closing in at work. They won’t go easy on you either. You will face lots of competition and pressure from your business rivals, but since Monkeys love to people-watch, you’ll also have great fun scrutinizing their plotting of your demise using inappropriate methods. So don’t believe rumors. Keep an eye on filing and documentation. And watch out for an inside man.
###Shanghai Monkey: Grant "Oh!" Buchwald
###Profession: MagicBus Creative / Gmartini’s party photographer
**If a competitor was trying to damage your reputation with a photo, what would they catch you doing in?**
Probably something to do with farm animals and those groovy dancing midgets from the pervert parties. While they're at it, throw in some of those Russians with the whips, too.
**The astrologer said that the year will be filled with on-again-off-again relationships. In that spirit, what's a good reason to get back together with you?**
As he mentioned, we are mischievous, clever, and promiscuous.
** ... and a good reason to break up with you?**
Probably for the same reasons as above. That and us Monkeys tend to finish our business in a very fast and timely manner.
**Monkey celebs:** Leonardo Da Vinci, Yao Ming, Elizabeth Taylor, Johnny Cash, David Copperfield
**Get it on with:** Rat, Dragon
##Horse (1954, 1966, 1978, 1990)
###The Horse in 2010:
I got talent but people don’t have a damn clue, the Horses neigh in 2010. Truly, you intelligent, animated creatures will come up with some very innovative ideas ... that end up getting rejected by anyone in a position of authority. Depressed, you’ll want to change your work environment or even your career, but that is absolutely the wrong thing to do. The problem is you don’t know how to present your ideas. Rejection will do you good. You’ll hone those communications skills, so stick with those devils in Prada.
What about love? Chances abound for those single. For couples, it’s an excellent opportunity for a threesome as you’ll come across an enthusiastic admirer. Rest assured that this person will not easily get involved or meddle with existing relationships. In fact, your partner and your family, feeling the competition, will treat you Horses even better. Lucky.
###Shanghai Horse: Alison Yeung
###Profession: Footwear & Accesories Designer of label Mary Ching
**Are you superstitious?**
Definitely. And as far as I know, I'm the epitome of the typical Horse. I do believe in astrologists. On a scale of one to ten, I would give myself a high eight.
**So are you worried about getting rejected by authority?**
It wouldn't surprise me if it does happen--but where's the fun in being creative if you are loved by authority? Rules are there to be broken! It's simple. But actually, Carla Bruni Sarkozy’s best friend picked a pair of our cashmere slippers last year as a gift for her, and Carla loved them so much, she wrote me a letter telling me so.
**Wow, not much rejection by authority there! And, apparently you're not going to get any rejection in love either. Looking forward to it.**
Yes! Last year, love was mission impossible for me. This year, I'm going to be whisked around the world and lavished with presents and attention!
**Horse celebs:** Hu Jintao, Jackie Chan, Ang Lee
**Get it on with:** Tiger, Sheep, Dog
##Rabbit (1951, 1963, 1975, 1987)
###The Rabbit in 2010:
You Rabbits want success more than anything in 2010. As you are by nature classy, stylish, charming creatures, you’re also naturally endowed with exceedingly high self esteem. So when you put forth lots of effort with no immediate results apparent, it hurts. Alas, you are fated to a return that is microscopic to the respective effort next year.
And the good news doesn’t stop there. In 2010, crises will likely arise in your love life. To be more specific, you better watch your mouth because you’re going to say something you really shouldn’t have said. Probably about mothers-in-law and exes. Beneath a serene exterior, you Rabbits are very sexual creatures and tend to give more of yourselves than you should.
Therefore, try to remember to take the long view in the Year of the Tiger. Work to build good lines of communication with friends, co-workers, and loved ones alike.
###Shanghai Rabbit: Archie Hamilton
###Profession: Head of Concert Promotion Company Split Works
**Has your mouth ever landed you in hot water?**
I love conflict and I’m quite opinionated. I’m not afraid of weighing in when needed. We’re in quite a lot of weirdness at the moment. Chinese media is calling and asking what’s going on after a certain blog post i wrote about a relatively high profile charity concert at the Birds Nest in Beijing.
The organizers announced that Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, and 50 Cent would be playing. I found that a little strange coz I know Lady Gaga’s schedule. I called up her people, and they knew nothing about it! The guy just came out and lied on the big stage. Guess I was kind of running my mouth and weighing in when it perhaps would have been easier not to.
**Thoughts on having to work hard and not getting anywhere next year?**
Just great. That’s what I’ve been doing for the last five years. I think that’s the music industry in China really. But I do believe in the long term that it will come right.
**Rabbit celebs:** Albert Einstein, Bruce Lee, Whitney Houston
**Get it on with:** Sheep, Dog, Pig
##Pig (1947, 1959, 1971, 1983)
###The Pig in 2010:
That absolutely fabulous category of good fortune that awaits you life-loving Pigs in the year of the Tiger is known as *taohuayun* in Chinese. Enormously enviable, this “peach blossom luck” belonged to Casanova, Fabio and, possibly, Edison Chen. The opposite sex finds you irresistible, and you are fated to happily while away the year pursuing targets and getting lucky.
This year, your powers of seduction are unbounded. You will have your way with those cold, incurious, uninterested souls. Not even celebrities are immune to your allure.
The downside is that with great power comes great ... irresponsibility. While your love life will ascend to dizzying new heights, your career will suffer. Your unprofessionalism is not appreciated. Neither is your lack of attention to detail. Worst of all, you’ll run into a few folks who would be more than happy to kick you when you’re down.
Devastated? Don’t be. They’re just jealous. And for good reason, to be honest.
###Shanghai Pig: Reggie
###Profession: DJ R3 of S.T.D. Music Collective
**Which celebs have you got your eye on this year?**
Britney Spears. Haha, I just think she’s hilarious. And I love kids.
**What about someone out of your league?**
Well, the last celebrity I really admired was Peaches. She just is sex appeal, even if she’s twice my age. She just goes out and does what she fucking wants and that’s pretty cool. I had this moment with her at the Fuji rock festival in Japan. It was the first time I saw her. She was jerking off a long mic. Then she picked up a water bottle, threw it all over herself and at the crowd. It happened to land in my lap! In my hands. What a beautiful moment. She come over, sat on my shoulder, gripped my hair, and started singing on top of me. She won me over.
**Pig celebs:** Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stephen Spielberg
**Get it on with:** Rabbit, Dragon, Pig
##Rooster (1945, 1957, 1969, 1981)
###The Rooster in 2010:
Cock-a-doodle-doo! The sun is about to rise over the best year of your career. In 2010, you self-assured Roosters will be filled with energy and confidence. A strong force takes hold of you and propels you to the top. You’ll beat your wings and fly like the wind.
With such excellent luck, you should spend your time worrying about who’s in your flock. Surround yourself with equally positive folks and it will be the key to your success. Just don’t find yourself another Rooster -- you two will have overly high opinions of yourself. Not a Tiger or a Dragon either.
In love, it’s a very passionate year. Too passionate. A single Rooster will want to elope against family wishes. But you will certainly regret it. You’re running away with the wrong person, and you’ll have lots of problems later on. Behave wisely.
###Shanghai Rooster: Yang Pei Ming
###Profession: Owner of the Shanghai Propaganda Poster Art Centre
**Next year looks rosy, doesn’t it?**
It does. I’m coming out with a book--the first volume of my poster collection. And some of my posters will be in an exhibition in San Francisco in February. The Expo is coming, and I will show many people my museum.
**Do you worry about finding good partners?**
Not many people understand my field. It’s not easy to find someone with the same taste. I am a pioneer! I have too much to do. It will take time for others to understand.
**Please rate the propaganda about the Expo.**
To be honest, I’m not very happy with today’s propaganda. The Shanghai pavilion is called Better Xintiandi. Xintiandi is a night life center, it’s not for cultural heritage. It’s a huge mistake. Shanghai is a very abstract idea, it’s a deep spirit. It’s not so easy to define.
**Rooster celebs:** Faye Wong, Van Morrison, Steve Martin, Dolly Parton, Bette Midler
**Get it on with:** Ox, Dragon, Snake
##Dog (1946, 1958, 1970, 1982)
###The Dog in 2010:
Loyal and kind, you Dogs have been man’s best friend for centuries. Your friends know that you can be counted on to catch a ball, lick their wounds and eat the leftovers. That’s why it is especially unfortunate that in the Year of the Tiger, you are in real danger of becoming somebody’s thankless defender.
You know what your problem is? You just trust people too much. A good Dog requires both affection and discipline. Just because that pooch you’ve been eying has turned sweet on you doesn’t mean you should instantly jump all over it.
Luckily, this is an exceptional year for building people relationships. So if you would learn to untangle your true friends from those who will happily rob you blind, you might not be bleeding so much cash in the name of unconditional generosity.
Circle. Sniff. Wait.
###Shanghai Dog: John Lucas III
###Profession: Shanghai Sharks basketball player
**Circle, sniff, wait. What are you waiting on this year?**
Ultimately, my goal is to get back to the NBA, but the CBA is a great place to play basketball--it’s a really tough league.
How’s the transition to the league been? Are you building better relationships with the other American players in the league?
Yeah for sure. It’s a little bit different for us because we’re all in a different country, kinda off by ourselves. So we Skype each other, email after a game, and sometimes I’ll watch a DVD of their game and I’ll tell them you shoulda done this or that--we definitely try to help each other out.
**What about Yao? You used to play together but now he owns your team.**
Haha, he’s a great boss! I’m just hoping he gets his injury under control and gets back to playing. I miss him out there on the court scoring on people.
**Who wins a one-on-one game between you and Yao?**
Well we have different games, but Yao would win…he’s the boss, right?
**Dog celebs:** Lang Lang, Wong Kar-wai, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Winston Churchill
**Get it on with:** Tiger, Rabbit, Pig
##Ox (1949, 1961, 1973, 1985)
###The Ox in 2010:
Aren’t you glad this god-awful Year of the Ox has come to an end? Strong and dependable, you poor Oxen faced trial and tribulation this year, endowed with what was probably the worst luck of any animal of the Chinese zodiac.
Enjoy the smell of spring then, as the Year of the Tiger comes to our land. Love will grow like young grass, and you will bring a lot of happiness to those whom you love.
It is also a year for study and research, something that you hard workers do uncommonly well. If you have an opportunity to venture out to a new place to learn or to intern, then by all means pack your bags. Keep your head up and look your rivals in the eye. No need to be too humble, and go easy in the salary requirements.
###Shanghai Dog: Petter Eldin
###Profession: Independent filmmaker
**Wow, that was a bad one last year, huh?**
Mmm…Actually, it has been a good year for me. I’ve got some fantastic feedback on my documentary Building 173. I shot another feature film called "Made in China," which won several prizes, including a Silver Hugo at Chicago International Film Festival. I can't wait to get my hands on my own illegal DVD copy. Most importantly, I got married.
**And you’re still going to have a lot of happiness in love--how does that work? The romance just won’t quit, eh?**
I just asked my wife if or not I’m romantic. She said “sometimes.” But she couldn’t give me an example. So the answer is no, shame on me. I’m not a very romantic guy, but I make my wife laugh a lot. We always laugh together. This is perhaps romantic. Next year, I’ll embrace my happily married life with open arms.
**What are your plans for 2010?**
I want to make my company "Stare" in to the strongest design studio in Shanghai. How? I don't know yet, but we work insanely hard. I will probably work on some experimental films and a couple of shorts. I'm also editing a documentary that I shot a few years ago. Hopefully, something good will be produced and entered.
**Ox celebs:** Barack Obama, Vincent Van Gogh, Walt Disney
**Get it on with:** Rabbit, Snake, Rooster
##Sheep (1955, 1967, 1979, 1991)
###The Sheep in 2010:
Home alone is when you meditative Sheep feel most free to ponder the inner workings of the Politburo Standing Committee. But no man is an island, and you must learn to play well with others in 2010.
Resist the temptation to deal out verbal bahh-shings--negative talk actually hurts people and will come back to bite your image in the ass. Goats love being a big bro / big sis to friends in need, but must learn not to trust so easily. If you’re forming a partnership, never take a gentleman’s agreement. Lay out your contracts, for you may be betrayed by a confidant.
If all goes badly, you may find yourself at odds with loved ones over money. Balance is key. There is no need to lend out your hard-earned cash at will. Someone who comes looking for money may not be a good friend after all.
###Shanghai Sheep: Matsume
###Profession: Sex Columnist at SmartShanghai
**What’s the sexiest zodiac sign?**
I would have to say my first pick would be the dragon. Bossy and full of enthusiasm … this man knows what he wants! Next would be the rabbit, a risk taker. I like the rebellious ones!
**Who’s the sexiest sheep alive?**
Hands down it’s Vin Diesel. I used to fantasize about this guy everyday. How many men can pick up a whole woman in his hands?!
**So Vin Diesel begs you to borrow money, but the horoscope tells you not to ... how would you make him earn it?**
I would make him mow my lawn naked, squeeze lemons to make my lemon ice tea naked, fix the shed naked, barbecue me smoked ribs naked, change the channel for me naked and then massage me naked…
**Ah, yeah, we got the picture. So if you could star in a movie with Vin Diesel, it’d be … ?**
*A Romp to Remember* or *Broke Back Mountain* ... no ... um ... OK, fine, it’d be *Titanic.*
**Sheep celebs:** Pamela Anderson, Chow Yun-fat, Nicholas Sarkozy
**Get it on with:** Rabbit,
##Snake (1953, 1965, 1977, 1989)
###The Snake in 2010:
Ever seductive, you Snakes will get a taste of your own medicine in 2010. It’s a disastrous year for love as you run a high risk of encountering the meddlesome Home Wrecker. Yes, an affair is in the cards, and--if you can get a hold of this information--you’d be wise to watch out for a Tiger, Pig or Dragon. But don’t start snooping around behind your partner’s back, as that’s a lose-lose situation. You lose his/her trust. Then you lose the relationship.
Actually this is all in line with the overall trend for you. Snakes next year: “Out with the old, in with the new.” To be honest, it doesn’t have to be all bad. Never mind that your business will probably lose a lot of money (if not flat out go bankrupt), this is a chance to weed out the unhappy things in life and make some changes. Thinking about quitting your job? It’s a good year for that.
###Shanghai Sheep: Kenneth Tan
###Profession: Social Networking Entrepreneur, Blogger
**General thoughts on your prediction?**
Gee whiz, it sounds like it's going to be a really terrible year for me and my business, doesn't it? My end of the stick is really going to be THAT short? Seriously, how does your geomancer make money dishing out doomsday predictions like that? ;-)
**You going to be scared of Tigers this year?**
Not any more than I have been. They're still my favorite beer and I'll still continue to drink them ;-)
**"Out with the old and in with the new." What's the old? The new?**
There is absolutely nothing in my life that I'd destroy right now. But friends of mine have complained that they haven't seen much of me over the past year. So I'm going to make an attempt to relaunch my social life.
**Sounds like a risky year for both love and money...which would you rather have and why?**
Money. Actually I just Googled around and found some very authoritative research that says that money can actually buy you love. Plus, I'm waaaaay past living on love and fresh air.
**Pig celebs:** Gong Li, Brad Pitt, Audrey Hepburn
**Get it on with:** Ox, Rooster
##Dragon (1952, 1964, 1976, 1988)
###The Dragon in 2010:
How far the mighty Dragon has fallen! 2010 brings not very good luck and not very much confidence. Faced with a difficult situation, you footed snakes will be seized with impotence. Normally ambitious and ascendant, you’ll fail to come up with any action plan that solves the problem at hand. A very tough year indeed.
Obstacles loom on the love front as you ponder them lying down. You singles will feel that the prospect of marriage is an unbearable weight. You coupled, having let all of the air out of your ego, is left with a flaccid will--defenseless against your other half’s pressuring. In this year, a Tiger and Dragon couple is saddest.
But there’s a silver lining. The problems are not as complicated as you think. Though you may feel quite the opposite, nothing is beyond your capabilities. Get your friends to encourage you. And be open minded.
###Shanghai Dragon: Paul Pairet
###Profession: Mr. & Mrs. Bund Chef
**Losing confidence in 2010 yet?**
I don’t recognize this Dragon description here. He’s so confused that he can’t even make a decision for himself; he needs opinions from others. I feel most of the time that I should do everything myself. I might be more of a fox terrier than a Dragon. When a fox terrier gets a bone, he will never give it up! And that’s exactly what I’m like. Maybe I’m half-Dragon half-fox terrier.
**So you don’t think the prediction is accurate?**
Hopefully it’s not true because this is a very important year for me. This is the year of Ultraviolet, a restaurant project that I’ve been working on for 10 years. It’s the maximum of what I can do and what I want to do, and I will do it in Shanghai. So to tell you that there is absolutely nothing that can go wrong this year, I can’t do that. But I guess it’s not the right year to mess around with Tigers? Let’s keep things going smoothly!
**Dragon celebs:** John Lennon, Maggie Cheung, Al Pacino
**Get it on with:** Rat, Monkey, Rooster
##Rat (1952, 1964, 1976, 1988)
###The Rat in 2010:
Look into a Rat’s eyes and you shall see into a soul of wit, cunning and curiosity. Keenly observant, you Rats are apt at gifted at navigating your way through a maze of red herrings and false exits. The prize that you so aggressively seek? The title of Big Cheese. No wonder you sometimes find yourself caught up in the rat race.
The Year of the Tiger brings good value to Rats. You can work less and earn more, spend less and get more. But slow down, hothead. You are prone to make silly mistakes when you hurry. Make some times for your loved ones. You’ll be able to meet allies who can help you get ahead, and it is with the friendships that you forge this year that your heart’s desires will come.
###Shanghai Rat: Rosita Janbakhsh
###Profession: Theater Producer of Shanghai Repertory Theatre & Actress
**You’re 25 and the head of your own theater company. You feel like the big boss yet?**
Haha when I hear about the Rat, it sounds just like my character in King Lear--Cordelia. If I was back home in LA I would never be the executive producer. You have to work five times as hard here, but when we put on an English play, the international community comes. It makes the journey incredibly worthwhile.
**See any reason to slow down next year?**
I’ll tell you a funny story. Last June we needed to do a play, but we had no venue, no script, and no cast. Twenty-four hours later we found an old Chinese opera house around the corner from People’s Square. A teacher at the Shanghai American school gave us a copy of California Suite by Neil Simon. By 48 hours, I had a cast. And the next day we were starting rehearsal with a suite from the Sofitel. Just like that. People here in Shanghai are so supportive.
**Rat celebs:** Mozart, Sean Penn
**Get it on with:** Dragon, Ox
*Horoscopes interview and translation & Tiger, Pig, Rabbit, Rooster, Monkey, Rat interviews by Jean Yung; Snake, Dragon, Dog and Sheep interviews by Geoff Ng; Ox and Horse interviews by Tracy You*