Summer’s coming to a close and that means one thing: Shanghai is about to be flooded with new blood. Inspired by Neil Strauss’ The Game, CW has put together seven steps to get your seduction game ready for the fall dating season.

1. Identify Your Target

Men: Boys, the theme for today is confidence. Wear something you know you look good in, roll in with a good cast of wingmen and go somewhere that suits your style. If you’re the clubbing type, hit up Muse or Sin for younger girls easily impressed by cash, Bund staples for classier ladies and out-of-towners or drop by MAO to prowl around for some “should have gone home an hour ago” girls. Prime witching hours in this city are between 12 and 2am.

Women: Who says a girl has to wait patiently for some guy to whisk her off her feet? Ladies, take matters into your own hands. Avoid notorious haunts (Dragon, Zapata’s and Tongren Lu) where you’ll face advances from sleazy, sloppy guys. If you’re after mature, well-dressed men with cash to flash, head Bund-side to Lounge 18 or The Glamour Bar, or scope out the always-crowded dance floors at Velvet or M1NT. For the cute, beer drinking indie types and hipsters, The Shelter is the place to be.

2. Approach the Target

Men: Stick to the three-second rule. See and approach or let it go: don’t let a missed opportunity weigh you down or be that creepy guy that’s always leering at girls. Approach with energy and open with something fun and different. Always be happy and open to talk about your life, and know that even if your job isn’t sexy, ambition is. And that, you can fake for a night. If it’s not working, eject politely and go make new friends.

Women: “My friends and I like to adopt the pack mentality,” reveals a girlfriend. “We divide and conquer!” Eye contact is the key. Flirt with your target from a distance using your eyes and a smile, but don’t stare. Have an air of confidence. On approach, take your girlfriends for support, but not if he’s alone. Conversation starters can be bumping into him and apologizing, or saying “Hi!” and a smile can do the trick. If you’re not getting good vibes, don’t hang around.

3. Show Your Worth

Men: So you’ve approached successfully. Now you’ve got to show some personality. Win over the group with epic stories and stupid bar tricks, get your wingman to help talk you up and, if you’ve got female friends nearby, have them drop by to say hi with a quick hug and kiss–you are, after all, the man of the hour. Establish yourself by capturing the attention of the group, and engage everyone without playing the part of the dancing monkey.

Women: Just as a man with a personality is attractive (though stupid bar tricks may not work), a laughing, happy woman is a man magnet. Show him you’re a girl who likes to have fun. Don’t act too drunk or laddish–remember, you’re still a lady. Yes, let your wingmen / women talk you up, but don’t make it obvious. If you’re targeting a quiet type, play down the raucous behaviour. Try dancing provocatively with your girlfriends then wander to a chair in an obvious place to give him a chance to approach.

4. Disarm Your Target

Men: Nobody likes a tease ... except that women kind of do. If and when your target tries to get your attention, keep her at an artificial distance. Turn the tables on her, and do it with a smile: “Is your friend always this pushy?” Don’t ignore her, don’t insult her and don’t go too far, but don’t give her an inch either. If you’re running out of things to say, leave on a high note and come back later. Never show weakness and always leave her wanting more.

Women: It’s true that the old “Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” adage usually gets the girl … and the guy. But it has to be done right. There’s a fine line between playing the game and pushing someone away. Charm those around him within earshot and avoid focusing too much on him. Make him curious and, when he starts to show interest, act indifferent. Depending on the guy, a playful rebuke such as “We’re not going to get along” will have him coming back for more.

5. Isolate Your Target

Men: If you’ve executed well, her group (and / or her nosy girlfriends) won’t have any problem leaving you and her alone for a minute. Tell her you want to show her something cool (no, not that), take her by the hand and lead her through the crowd to a quieter spot. Feel free to initiate contact at this point– nothing obscene, of course, but start to break down the physical separation between the two of you with small gestures. Don’t push. You’ve still got time.

Women: This is the time to initiate some more private moments. As a female friend suggests, “Lead him off to do shots at the bar.” During this time, turn your full attention on him. Always look him in the eye when you’re talking and address him by his name. Even take him by surprise. A girlfriend recounts, “One time, I picked up a guy’s hand as if to kiss it and licked it instead while looking into his eyes. He stalked me the whole night.”

6. Step Up the Connection

Men: This is where you make your money. Ask questions, listen diligently, find commonalities and care about her answers. Contribute with things she didn’t know, but don’t talk about them constantly. Get her on a roll and let her carry it from there. “Girls,” a female friend tells us, “are suckers when it comes to talking about themselves.” So let her go on, and it’ll be the conversation of a lifetime.

Women: While girls are suckers for deep, meaningful talk, men prefer flirting. Work your body language and stare into his eyes, but be careful not to go overboard. Show interest but keep the conversation light-hearted. Always laugh at his jokes. Get his heart racing with some physical contact; touch his arm, pick imaginary hairs off his shirt or do the unexpected and kiss him out of nowhere.

7. Extract Target to Seducation Locale

Men: If you’ve continued to subtly amp up the playful touching during the last step, there’s not much else to do. Plant the seed early by saying you’ve got a new piece of art or kitten or something irresistible that you want to show her at home (don’t lie!), and offer her a sneak peek. It’ll give her an excuse to leave with you. Just don’t chicken out. If you’re feeling it from her, go for it. Otherwise you’ll be kicking yourself for days afterward.

Women: Let’s face it, there’s no subtle way to do this. By this stage, whatever you say is subtext for “I want to take you home.” You just need an excuse to give him the green light. “Do you want to go back to mine for more drinks?” will usually work on a man. Or be direct and to the point with “Let’s go home.” Alternatively, maintain your female dignity and wait for him to initiate the last step. If you’ve done the groundwork right, you shouldn’t be waiting too long.

By Geoff Ng and Sophie Lloyd