Whatever age you are, losing your sex drive can be a depressing and scary thing. The good news is that there are solutions for both guys and girls. Loss of libido for women is a common side effect of perimenopause and menopause. When ovulation stops, less estrogen is produced by the female sex organs. Women may feel less sexual, and can suffer from dryness down below. This is known as HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder).

The Ladies

If you’ve lost your sex drive but aren’t close to menopause, ask your doctor for a blood test to rule out thyroid problems and iron deficiency anemia. If you are on medication for depression, consider changing to a different drug to see if your libido rises. Another solution is to apply estrogen or Vitamin E directly down there in the form of gels or creams. While it doesn’t replace the feeling of penetrative sex, masturbation can oil the cogs and get you feeling sexual again, as orgasm exercises the vaginal muscles. With loss of libido, the less sex you have, the less you want, so it’s often a case of perseverance to get back into the habit (as long as it’s consensual).

The Guys

For guys, wanting sex all the time is seen as typically masculine, and inability to get or maintain an erection can be embarrassing. However, not all men are desperate for hanky panky at the drop of a hat. Too much alcohol can cause the dreaded “brewer’s droop,” so if you find that your libido is low after an evening of boozing, try to cut back if you’re planning to stay at your girlfriend’s place or meeting someone new at Ladies’ Night. While erectile drugs like Viagra and Cialis can help in the short term, they shouldn’t be relied on every time you need to perform. If your lack of libido is ongoing, a visit to your doctor or a counsellor is recommended.

Fight it with Food

Adding certain foods to your diet is a good way of boosting your sex drive. Oysters are a traditional aphrodisiac thanks to their rich zinc content. Zinc is good for the prostate, and causes extra testosterone to be released. This is great news for guys as it boosts male libido, and also for girls because testosterone is proven to have positive effects on female sex drive too. Pumpkin seeds, almonds and Brazil nuts promote blood-flow to the genitals, while the mood-enhancing phenethylamine in chocolate makes it a sexy treat as well as a tasty indulgence. A glass of wine can do wonders for romance, but make sure you don’t binge. Being drunk reduces the pleasure of sex for women, and threatens male erectile function.

Getting Comfortable

Although sex is a hugely important part of life, and a way of bonding between couples, the first flushes of romance and sexual attraction don’t last forever. So if you’re down to once a week instead of twice a day after being with your guy or girl for more than a few months, don’t worry. As couples grow used to each other (and grow older) a natural slowing-down will inevitably occur.

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