A friend of mine recently moved back to the US from Shanghai. Her son is about the same age as Liam. At her going away party, somebody asked her: "How are you going to manage without your ayi?" Her answer: "Actually, to be honest, I am so tired of managing my ayi that I am looking forward to not having any help at all."

Lately, I can see her point. Sometimes I feel that all this inexpensive help is more of a curse than a blessing. Right now, I am going to vent by telling you some of the things that are driving me crazy.

1. Why does it seem to take three times as long for for my ayi to clean something than I know it would take me if I did it myself? And, the result is no better, sometimes worse.

2. How come she will only do a better job for a few days after I scold her? Why can't she just improve herself instead of always going back to her old ways?

3. How many times do I have to tell her that she cannot use the same cloth to clean the kitchen counter as the toilets?

4. If she really uses the cleaning products I buy her, why do they never run out? Does she not understand that cleaning with plain water does not work?

5. Why can't she understand that it is OK to say "no" to a child sometimes even if he cries? It is called discipline.
   

6. How many times do I have to tell her that you should not threaten a child to get him to do something? For example, you should not say: "If you do not stop doing XXX, your mother will go out and not come home."
   

7. If she is unambiguously caught doing something wrong, why is her first instinct to make up a ridiculous lie rather than confess and say she will not do it again?

8. Why is it so difficult for her to learn the simple concept of washing her hands before she handles food?
   

9. Does she really believe that Liam is going to freeze to death if he is not dressed in full winter gear even on a mild spring day? What is this obsession with cold?

10. I love Chinese food but why does all her cooking seem to taste the same? There is a distinctive flavor, in my experience, to "ayi food".
    

I am going to stop now as I could go on forever. Granted, I am a hormonal, uncomfortable pregnant woman, due in less than 3 weeks, and pretty edgy these days. And, I do not want to seem ungrateful. Perhaps, I should just chalk it up to cultural differences. But, I just cannot seem to see eye to eye with my ayi (or any of her predecessors). Is it me? Or, do any of you share similar frustrations? Any advice, thoughts or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

(Photo by www.butkaj.com at ww.flickr.com)