Ayi’s three day disappearance

Our family went through some ayi drama this week. Basically, I told my ayi off for something, she freaked out (likely because I rarely scold her), screamed at me and quit. I immediately called our agency and got a replacement. While this replacement was lovely and kind, the children would not accept her. My 10-month old cried like she was being tortured every time the woman held her. My 2 ½ year old refused to go near her and acted morose, nervous and clingy to me. This torture went on for three days. At the end of the third day, Ayi told me that she missed the children and offered to return to work. She apologized for her mistakes. My first inclination was to decline but I swallowed my pride and let her come back for the children’s sake. Except for this unexpected incident, she is overall a good woman, obviously cares about the children, and is hardworking and honest. When Liam saw his ayi again, his face lit up with a huge grin. “We found Ayi! We found Ayi!” he said. Later that day, he whispered to me: “I love Ayi.”

Attachment to Ayi: Good or Bad?

For now, normality has returned to our little household. In the aftermath of this crisis, however, I am not sure what to make of my children’s attachment to Ayi. On the one hand, there is something sweet about the mutual fondness between the kids and Ayi. After all, “ayi” is the Chinese word for “auntie”. Shouldn’t they be like part of the family? On the other, our ayis are not family but rather hired help. Is it dangerous for the children to feel so close to somebody who could just disappear on a moment’s notice?

Dealing with the transition

I also began thinking what would have happened if Ayi did not come back. Presumably, the kids would have gotten used to the new ayi eventually. What could I have done to help them through the transition? And, what if I went through a series of trial ayis before I found another good one? What if I found one, they got attached to her and she quit too? Would the kids suffer any psychological trauma from changing ayis frequently?

Your thoughts and comments would be greatly appreciated.