Hard to believe that this is my last blog entry for Family Matters. How quickly 14 months have flown by. We have finally secured our new apartment down here in Shenzhen, signed the papers and paid the deposit yesterday. After much debate, I finally found a place that I can be happy with and can kind of make home for maybe a year or two before we buy our next place. Not sure if it will be Shenzhen, Shanghai, or maybe eventually back home. I am a person who craves stability, yet am leading a nomadic expat life. I find the irony quite amusing, yet ask my husband and sometimes it's not that amusing.

Hard to sum up six years of living in Shanghai. When we first arrived it was the perfect place for a 23 turning 24 year old. I was "figuring" out my life and taking the time to explore and enjoy all the fun Shanghai had to offer. Fast forward 5 years and I felt like I was a newbie in Shanghai again, now being in Shanghai as a mother and having baby in tow. Where to go? What to do? How would I continue life with a baby? As mentioned above, I crave stability, structure, and hate the unknown. I filled my head with tons of baby books on what NOT to do, but really nothing ever said what TO do. I remember racking my brain, trying to figure out how to care for this new child. Was there an instruction manual out there?

When Tanner was first born, I thought I had it down pat. Easy labor, easy breastfeeding, and following the wise guidance of Baby Wise, T was sleeping through the night by 11 weeks. As the months went on, I realized that things not only did NOT get easier, the instructions and books started to become less and less. Now that T is coming up on 17 months and has a total personality I realize he is truly a little man and with that there are no insutructions. I've learned a lot along the way and still have much to learn, but for my last blog entry here are the top 3 things I've learned about being a mom.

1. They will sleep when they are tired. I remember living in FEAR of missing that elusive sleep window that the Baby Whisperer talked so much about. She continuously warned, "don't miss that sleep window, because once it's gone, all heck is going to break loose on your child." I was so scared he would get overtired, then he'd have fitful sleep, then he'd not sleep well, then his brain wouldn't develop, and then it'd be all my fault. Well, Tanner has missed his sleep window. He's even stayed up hours past his bedtime. And while yes, no matter how late he sleeps, he usually still wakes up around 8:30, he seems to be ok with not having a full 12 hours of sleep a night. Tell that to the Kathy a year ago and I'd be shocked! No way! So in the end, they will pass out when tired and if they sleep a little less today, they'll make it up tomorrow or one of the 364 other days in the year.

2. They will eat until they are full and when they are hungry. I also used to measure out each teaspoon full of food and freeze them in cute individual ice cube trays with covers so that I knew 1 cube was 1 ounce and therefore how much he was eating. It would drive me insane if he didn't finish his food as then I had no way of knowing if he had 6 ounces or 5.5. I used to always worry if he was eating a full meal at each 3 meals of every day of the 7 days. What i've learned is that their weight will ebb and flow on the weight curve and as long as over a weeks period he's eating an ok amount, he'll be fine. So if he misses lunch today and only has a muffin from Starbucks, he'll most likely eat a bigger dinner. In the end, again, it's ok.

3. The most important thing I've learned this past year is -- there is no greater love in this world than a love you have for your child. When I wake up in the morning to the sound of Tanner talking in the next room, no matter how tired I am, I am completely energized by his smile and seeing him standing in his crib ready to greet the new day. His curiosity for the world amazes me and I love watching him explore the world around him. His smiles melt my heart and listening to him babble is my favorite song. I have to say I never knew true love until I met Tanner. Sure he can frustrate and tire me out, but in the end, holding him in my arms and listening to his peaceful breath as he sleeps makes it all worthwhile. I've learned that being a parent is truly a blessing and a gift and I hope all can experience this joy one day.

Thanks for reading my blogs this past year and following Tanner's life. We are off at the end of March to begin our new adventure of living in Shenzhen. I hope for many trips to Hong Kong Disneyland, Ocean Park, and the surrounding beaches. We are a family who thrives better in warm weather near the ocean. This coming year we hope to add another bundle of joy to the family so hopefully I can listen to my own advice and take it a bit easier the second time around.

Take care everyone and hope to be able to chirp back in from time to time.