So little Tanner and I travelled down to Qiao Tou which is half way between Shenzhen and Dongguan (aka the middle of nowhere) to visit the hubby for 10 days. We've been going on the 4th month now if this back- and-forth family life and needless to say it's starting to wear down on the family. Come Monday morning, poor little Tanner comes in my room, climbs on the bed, pulls off the covers and throws down the pillows going "Da da, Da da." Then looks really sad when realizes Da Da is gone. This happens every Monday and breaks my heart.

Since moving to Shanghai, I've met quite a lot of people who do this Monday-to-Friday work-away-come home-on-the-weekends life. It seems to work for them, but I somehow haven't found my groove yet. It's hard not to feel like a single parent when you're doing all the work yourself Mon-Fri.


However to put things in perspective, my husband likens it to working I-banker hours. If he did live with us but was at work all day and not at home during Tanner's waking hours, what would be the difference? But I guess for me it's still nice to have him come home and share the same house and at least live in the same city to feel like we are a family.

A good friend of mine recently told me that it doesn't matter where you live, but only that you live together. This past weekend we went apartment hunting in Shenzhen as we will probably be relocating down here next year so we can be together. At first I was very hesitant as really nowhere in China can compare to Shanghai. However, after listening to my friend's words, it is true. Granted the apartments are not as nice. Granted I will be leaving all my friends that I've made over the past 6 years. Granted I will be losing a lot and leaving my comfort zone, but in the end it is not a house that makes a home, it is not structure or the material things inside of it that make a home, it is the people of the family that are together...

It is hard to remember that these days, when as parents we feel that we are responsible to provide our children with the best opportunities possible. As I wrote in my previous blog, I often feel like I am depriving Tanner of some of the best things in life by not living back home in the US. Yes there are perks to being an expat nomad, but at the same time I feel guilty that he's not living the typical all-American childhood. But in the end, home is where the heart is, and as long as we are together, that will be the best possible thing I could ever do for Tanner.