Would you say your kids are thriving at school or merely surviving? We all want our children to be happy, but how can you help them truly flourish both at home and at school?

Identify Character Strengths
Sarah Pearlz, Psychologist at Shanghai American School, has spent a great deal of time exploring this question. She believes parents and teachers can better help children thrive by recognizing and appreciating their true character strengths.

“We all know what our children are good at, like being polite or funny, or listening well in class, but we don’t often think about their deeper character strengths like wisdom, kindness, perseverance and curiosity. However, these traits are what really make our children tick and are what motivates them.”

The Online Tool
Could you name your child’s top three character strengths? Pearlz says for most parents, knowing their child’s strengths doesn’t come naturally so she recommends using a simple online tool like the one found at Viame.org.

Is your child the one looking at the next lesson when he should be doing math? Perhaps curiosity is his main character strength. Another example Pearlz gives is a child who continues to read a story long after the lesson has ended. Ordinarily he might be reprimanded and told to put the book away, but what he’s really displaying is intense focus on a task.

“A teacher who knows that perseverance is one of a child’s strengths may say, ‘You know how good you are at focusing really well on reading? Now I need you to be that good at focusing on math.’”

The Next Step
Once you know your child’s character strengths, you can positively reinforce and reward them. Pearlz recommends asking your child to tell you three good things that happened during the day and try to see how these fit with their known strengths. “For example, your child might tell you they were teased at school but stood up for themselves, so you could reinforce and reward their bravery and self-confidence.”

Pearlz encourages teachers to try and identify the deeper character strengths of their students as well. In addition to bringing positivity into the learning environment, Pearlz says, “Parents really feel that the teacher understands their child and that opens people up to different creative ways to support kids.”

How do you encourage your child at home and in school? Tell us in the comments below.