I was browsing through my favorite babble and came across this great article on over-parenting. Uh-oh, do I hear a controversial blog coming on? Yup, so please proceed with caution.


This great article was written by none other than Attachment parenting author Katie Granju. Yup, that's right, attachment parenting author, the one who started it all with co-sleeping and giving more attention to your kids is now writing about the over-parenting crisis. In this great commentary, she shares the story of how parents have gone way overboard today in having their lives consumed by their children's advancements. It seems the earlier you kids can toilet themselves, feed themselves, and read to themselves the more successful you are as a parent. Since when did parenting become this hard and cut throat? It's like if you're 1 year old can't recite the alphabet backwards then somehow you've failed as a parent? People always compare how early your kids can read, but does anyone ever compare how well your kid is at being a kid?

I actually thought this was just a common problem in Shanghai. I always find it amusing when people ask me what "school" Tanner is going to. School? Are you crazy? The boy is 10 months old! He still can't keep all of the saliva in his mouth, what kind of school is going to teach him that? Think back to our childhoods, did any of us really start school at 10 months old? I really don't think so. I know plenty of people who went to Ivy League colleges and got perfect scores on their SATs and started school at 5 years of age. So what does all this extra schooling do for our children? And for those that don't get it, is it really going to harm them forever?

I think the problem is more of a "Keeping up with the Jones's" dilemma. However, instead of seeing who has the better manicured lawn, we're now comparing our little babies. I myself am a victim to this. Often after playdates I'm like wow, your kid can do that, Tanner can't do that, hmmm, I wonder what I'm doing wrong. It's so stressful!! And to compound the problem there is a surplus of preschools for babies Tanner's age! I was shocked the first time I even heard that these schools were available. Someone was a smart business man for sure to create schools for babies! I always feel twangs of guilt when people ask me, "Oh what school is he going to?" "Uh, he's not going to school yet" as I look down at my shoes and think in my mind "and he's not going to for another 4 years so am I freak or what?!?!?!"

Don't get me wrong, I know that all this hyper parenting comes with the best intentions. As the article states, often we think that we need all this stuff to be good parents, but in the end is all this worrying about getting the perfect stuff for our babies masking what's the main point in the first place - our children? It's said a lot more eloquently in the article and has much better points than I can write here, but it really got me thinking as I feel like I'm becoming a total victim to over parenting! Now I'm going to obsess about being obsessed!

In the end, this article got me thinking that yes over-parenting has totally gone into hyper overdrive these days. Is it because we are a generation of overachievers with more options? Or is it because we are a generation of consumers who feel that if we pay for something then it must be good.... something to think about...