I know I've written about this topic a lot in my column, but I cannot STRESS enough that parents in Shanghai need to stop passing the buck when it come to their kids. Recently I've been hearing a lot of complaining that always starts with "Well, I wasn't there to see it, but my ayi told me that my kids were treated badly by blah blah blah." Ok, first off, let's go back to the very beginning of what you said - you weren't there. Your ayi was. If you weren't there, then make very sure you know ALL the facts before you go off and start putting the blame on someone else. The fact of the matter is that you weren't there so it's really hard for you to know what actually happened. I've also been hearing a lot of "Well, so and so was supposed to be supervising my kids, but instead the kids were just running around not listening to anyone." Ok, let's think about this. Why would your kids act this way? They must think it is appropriate for them to run around and be crazy when you're not around. Why is this? Really, sit down and think why does my child think this type of behavior is ok and where did they learn to act like this. Kids are sponges and a lot of behavior is learned behavior and not innate. You are the parent and no matter how many opportunities there are to outsource your kids in Shanghai, it ultimately comes down to you to teach your kids the difference between right and wrong. If you are appalled by your kids behavior or the behavior of other kids, before you jump to blame someone else, take a good hard look at yourself. Remember you decided to bring a child into the world and with that comes a lot of responsibility. It's time to sit up and take it and stop blaming others.