When you’re pregnant, you're the center of the world. Everyone asks you how you are, if they can do anything to help, and if you really shouldn’t be getting some more rest. Fast forward a few months and you’re on your own with a screaming infant at two ‘o clock in the morning. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder what happened? Where did you go? This flip side to motherhood is not often talked about. Giving birth is only the beginning of a long and laborious journey, and it’s vital for new moms to be proactive about maintaining inner and outer wellness.

Discover the Road to Wellness

What is wellness? Definitions vary, but the commonly accepted meaning is a set of practices designed to enhance a person’s emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Rachel Middagh, Chief Editor for the mental health magazine CARE, believes that wellness starts with good coping skills. “It is really a toolbox to help get you through life,” she says.

Wellness is about taking time out just for you, whether it’s by reading a good book, listening to relaxing music, meditating, praying, going for a run or soaking in a nice long bath. It’s also about caring for your body; making sure you eat the right foods and get an adequate amount of exercise, and that you take pride in your appearance—not because looks are so important, but because you’re worth taking care of.

The problem with moms is that we often forget to do just this. We put our children first and ourselves second (or last, depending). Middagh thinks new mothers are particularly vulnerable here in Shanghai without their usual support network of family and friends. “A lot of new moms struggle but are afraid to admit that they do,” she says.

“It’s important to care for yourself,” advises Carrie Jones, a counselor coordinator for Community Center Shanghai, “Because you are precious, and because only when your needs are met can you care for your children’s. You also need to lead by example; if your children see you nurture yourself, they are more likely to do the same later on in life when times are hard.”

Be Open to Life Changes

Why is it so difficult to care for ourselves? Becoming a mother is a challenging journey. It’s a time of great change; nothing will ever be the same, and your love for your child can be so overwhelming that you forget to look after yourself from time to time. According to Amena Schlaikjer, co-founder of Wellness Works, moms in Shanghai have to deal with a lot more obstacles as well. “There is so much going on here in terms of the fast pace, noise and pollution,” she says. “It can be hard to focus on your inner voice.”

As you readjust to your surroundings and welcome a new family member at the same time, one aspect that is likely to change is your outlook on life and your professional priorities. For Cecil Mazourine, becoming a mother gave her a greater sense of clarity. “I was able to prioritize, and I realized I needed to change what I was doing with my life,” she shares. She left a career in engineering to re-train as a personal coach with the aim of helping people fulfill their inner potential.

“It doesn’t have to be as extreme for everyone,” she adds, “But any change is an opportunity for you to reflect on where you are going and who you want to be.” She advises making peace with the things you can’t change, and working with your thoughts and actions to bring about a new reality that matches your inner truth.

Make Peace with Yourself

Not everyone faces life-altering questions after giving birth. Some just want to know practical tips such as how to dress according to their new body shape. “The way you look is important,” explains professional image consultant Sandra Richefort. “It not only expresses your feelings, it has the power to shape them.” She recommends choosing the focal point of your outfit carefully, and buying clothes that look good on you today—not pre-pregnancy, or next month when you hope to have lost some weight.

Your body is the most precious thing you have, so you also need to care for it from the inside. This means eating five portions of fruit and vegetables every day, drinking plenty of water and exercising frequently. Maintaining a healthy diet not only promotes your own wellbeing, but it sets a model for the family to follow.

Finally, do not neglect your spiritual side. “Any form of faith or spirituality can be an anchor in times when everything else is changing,” says Jones. Spirituality does not have to be about devoting yourself to one religious belief. It can simply be about praying in peace at home or taking time out daily to just be with yourself.

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Want more tips for a healthy lifestyle? Check out this guide to dieting.