“Last week I rode on a bear at the wild animal park,” my 7-year-old told us casually over dinner. I choked on my noodles. “A bear?” I spluttered. “You mean a mechanical sort of bear you put coins in, right?”

“No,” she said, “a real bear. It had a thing over its mouth.” It turns out the second graders at her Chinese school had been on an excursion to the Shanghai Wild Animal Park. A hundred questions later I had clarified that yes, she did in fact ride on a live bear, which was large enough to hold both her and one of the park attendants.

I do remember signing a permission form for the excursion, but it definitely said nothing about bear rides. Ethical considerations about animals in captivity aside, my main concern was that my child had been put at risk without my knowledge. The whole incident is one in a long line of difficulties we’ve faced as parents adjusting to a Chinese school, but more than anything, it left me thinking long and hard about children and risk.

Our natural instincts as parents are to protect our children from risk, and yet many child psychologists and educators believe our children are over-protected and risk-averse.

Was my gut reaction appropriate? As a kids’ ER doctor I battle a constant temptation to say, “You shouldn't jump from that because I know a kid who did and ended up in the ICU!” But I keep my lips sealed because I want my children not to be fearful of everyday stuff.

“Encouraging children to step out of their comfort zones and take risks is one of the great modern challenges of parenting,” says parenting educator Michael Grose. “As children get older they become aware that others judge them for how well they perform, rather than how much they try. First-born children, in particular, are risk-averse with tendencies to stick to tried-and-true activities so they won’t make mistakes or errors. This attitude prevents them from making the most of opportunities.”

Children have a need to experience the consequences of risk for themselves. If children experience success in activities that involve a small risk, it breeds confidence and a great sense of achievement. But next time the school plans any live bear rides, I’d like to know about it first.

Do you encourage your children to take risks? Tell us about it here.