Last night I put on my best fabric market suit (tip: go to stall #139 and tell them you want to look like a homeless Jude Law), combed my eyebrows and headed out to the City Weekend awards at "Bling".

Things started off well with a great post-traffic argument outside, and got better as we got inside the bar, where free booze flowed like a river (although unfortunately no Port for 'Beat' blogger Aric).

I spent the award ceremony perched over an enormous platter (my enormous platter) of Chocolate Brownies, watching the YuYinTang hipsters (2 or more t-shirts each) mix it with the Bund glitterati (5 or more open shirt buttons each) and was pleased / relieved / to see not only Jade on 36 winning two awards, but also The Shelter for Best Club.

The full award details are here and here. So you can see for yourself how close Hooters came to winning "Best American Restaurant". My highlight of the night was seeing the shiny-eyed host of El Willy beam with joy after scooping two editors choice awards. He was last seen floating above a mangled traffic scooter on his way to nail up the plaques.

Here are a couple of awards that weren't given, and who they should have gone to:

Most Patient Staff

Winner: City Diner

Packed out with arseholes 24 hours a day, this Tongren Lu stalwart is where the cool kids go to shout abuse at a guy earning 2,000RMB a month.

Runner-up: The cleaners @ Bonbon

Nuff said.

Best Drink Incentive

Winner: The Absinthe Leaderboard @ I Love Shanghai

A small whiteboard with a list of arbitrary places (Washington DC, Persia, Palestine) and the total number of Absinthe shots that customers from that area have drank. "Hmm, interesting", you think- until you realise that your people are 3 shots behind Moldova and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

Runner Up: Black Pig @ Dan's Farmhouse

Tastes like they brew it in an iron bathtub from dead mice and Gin, but it's as addictive as Crack Candy Floss and only available at Dan's.

Street Beggar Catchphrase Of The Year

Winner: "Hello? Hello?"

Runner Up: "Hello, money?"