With the ongoing visa restrictions and newly buffed up drug laws you'd be forgiven for thinking that the Shanghai cops would love nothing more than to lock your laowei ass in chokey and throw away the key.

Well not in Jing-An.

Recently I've had cause to spend many hours at a police station (as always I am totally innocent) and I have to say that our local boys in blue are a credit to China.

The first time I visited was to try and retrieve a bag that was left in a taxi- not life or death stuff- but the police were still willing to do everything they could to help including brokering a compensation deal with the taxi firm that lost the bag, and then driving us to the middle of nowhere when the luggage actually turned up.

The second time was to (finally) register my existence in a private apartment, something I'd been putting off for - ooh- 15 months now. Having heard horror stories of people performing written self-criticisms and a mandatory 500RMB per day fine for late registration, I was expecting the financial equivalent of a gang-rape.

My pockets were stuffed with cigarette bribes and a fistful of 100s and seat beaded on my stiff upper lip but to my surprise the officer in charge didn't even give me a slap on the wrist, just the all-important pink slip.

Maybe it's the sunshine, maybe it's the Olympics, maybe it's the way I comb my hair, but one of those chaps even told me that

"Foreigners are our most important customers"

Aw bless, I love you too.