I vividly remember my first childhood crushes. From the athletic Greg Louganis in the ’88 Seoul Olympics to the troubled Hob in RoboCop 2 to pretty much the entire cast of Newsies (including a young Christian Bale), they were all male and all I could think about. I’ve never had a moment of doubt. Sure, there were times when I wished I fancied Shirley Manson more than Gavin Rossdale, but I always knew on which side of the fence I fell.

The internal struggle...

This isn’t the case for everyone. Some are more troubled with their sexual identity than I was. The social stigma that can persist around being gay can cause great internal struggle. Even for people who don’t end up identifying as gay or even bi, simple curiosity about same sex loving can lead to many issues. Indeed, individuals who are questioning are at high risk. They don’t have a lot of support and aren’t sure of who to consult, which can lead to unwise and unsafe decisions. So really, what’s a “question” to do?

It gets better...

Realize it gets better: In response to increasing suicides among gay-identified and questioning youths in the U.S., Dan Savage, a sex columnist and gay rights activist, started the It Gets Better Project. The campaign shows gays and celebs sharing anecdotes that address sexuality and being different to help people realize that the future will be bright regardless of how dark the present can seem. Fire up your VPN and check out the scads of stories on YouTube. For those not blessed with ability to leap the wall, Youku also has a selection of videos which have been reposted. Listening to the stories, which run the emotional gamut and cover a variety of themes, those questioning will realize how not alone they are. We all get confused from time to time so it never hurts to learn from others’ mistakes and triumphs.

Ask for help...

Ask for help: Shanghai is one large city, but the LGBT(Q) scene is a small family. It may be hard to approach your circle of friends about a topic as thorny as sexuality, so why not reach out to some new ones? The Shanghai LGBT Yahoo! group has a wide variety of members of all ages so join up and pose a question to the group to get some insight what life is like.

Embrace it...

Embrace it: Okay, I may be a little self-serving here since the more people out there willing to give the Greek saddle a go, the more options I get. One hummer does not a homo make―plenty of people give same-sex sex a try and go back to heteroland while others join the gay train. There’s no way to know for sure whether you’re going to like it until you give it a try.