Lailai Dance Hall, a weekend refuge for older gay ballroom dancers, is filthy, dilapidated, and, hands down, the most fabulous gay establishment I’ve ever been to in China. Go. Now.

Following the buzz about Lailai, I rounded up a few brother girls and made the trek. Once inside, my girlfriend nearly lost a stiletto to a hole in the floor, we tripped over decaying chairs and it took incessant puffing on a cigar to mask the scent of urea drifting from the hallway. Filth was in abundance. What was the gorgeous bit, you ask? The spinning, swirling men in that dance hall enjoying more camaraderie and delight than I have ever seen. The room emanated pure, gorgeous joy.

Every man in the club was gay, but due to generational expectations, they keep absolute secrecy about their sexuality. Passing any one of these men on the street, you’d never guess they rumba with other dudes on the weekends. “Older men are married, but the younger ones don’t have to do that anymore,” explained my dance partner, David. After awkwardly swaying back and forth together for a few songs, we became as close as a 30-year-old dyke and a 65-year-old fag will ever be. David described Lailai’s appeal: “In other countries, young gays don’t want to have anything to do with old gays. But look at tonight, I’ve already danced with four young men.” And a lezzer.

Lailai’s charm lies in its stark contrast to the flashy façade of Shanghai’s expat nightlife. We’ve somehow been tricked into thinking an enjoyable evening must entail an RMB80 martini at a bar with hipster art on the walls. At Lailai, the walls are peeling, beer is RMB5 a bottle, and everyone has a brilliant time. Interestingly, despite the availability of cheap beer, we were the only guests not drinking tea. Elderly Shanghainese gay men apparently prefer dancing while sober, a new concept for most Shanghai homos.

Said Shanghai homos are due for a bit of variety in our nightlife circuit and Lailai’s weekly dances and irregular Sunday drag shows offer a dazzling alternative. Stop by for a dance and a show: you’ll remember it forever. Word of advice, though: plan your fluids. The bathrooms are insufferable.