Is the Shanghai cold creeping into your bones? Why not take a winter gaycation with my guide to some gay-friendly destinations in Southeast Asia?

There are usually two categories of gay travelers: those who seek the segregated bliss of gay-only cruises, hotels and clubs–where flamboyancy is the norm and group sex is expected–and those who don’t necessarily require a strictly gay agenda to travel, but wouldn’t mind a bit of gay here and there. Whichever category you fall into, there are plenty of great gay travel destinations–all within easy reach of Shanghai.

My favorite spot, with its beautiful beaches, full-moon parties and lemon grass martinis, is Thailand. No one will look at you twice if you cross-dress there. The straight or gay distinction is not really made in Thailand.

There is basically no moral judgment about sexuality, but most Thais eventually settle into heterosexual relationships because, by tradition, they are required to get married and have children. For this reason, many Thais sleep with same-sex partners without feeling the need to label themselves straight or gay. Thailand ranks No. 1 on our list for gay tolerance in Southeast Asia. And, although running around naked is never the best idea, in Thailand almost anything goes, as long as it’s done privately and consensually.

In Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia–the three most conservative nations in Southeast Asia–expect to find the gay scene mostly in the shadows because homosexuality is illegal and, in some cases, punishable with jail. However, insiders have said the underground scene is hot and news of parties spreads fast by word of mouth. Remember, when anything is forced underground, it usually becomes even hotter.

Check out www.utopia-asia.com for a listing of establishments owned by gays and lesbians in every country in Asia. It takes just one local gay to lead you to the rest of the community. Just refrain from doing boing-boing on the beach and you should be good to go.

Seoul, Tokyo and Taipei are Southeast Asia’s top cities of temptations, mega-club excess and karaoke frenzy, and all have shopping options to rival any of the world’s greatest cities.

These are metropolises where even the squares turn into hipsters after work is done. They all have their fair share of gay establishments, so it’s best to head to the major cities and follow your nose. In our experience, the people of these cities want to party hard, with an emphasis on the hard.

What are your spectacular winter gayaway plans? Which gay-friendly vacations have you been on in Asia?