There are two types of people who really get my goat: bigots and nouveau riche. Bigots expect everyone to live by the same creepy standards as the hick town from which they were transplanted. Fortunately there aren't too many of them in Shanghai so it's always a shock to experience their particular brand of hospitality. The nouveau riche meanwhile thrive in abundance here. Spoiled by ayis, cheap taxis and waitresses (which they treat like dirt), the nouveau riche have a lot to learn.

Case in point, last month I trotted off to Zhejiang Province for a spot of polo, dressed to the nines and anticipating a great day of drinks and divots. It was a gray, rainy day, so a couple of girls and I sought shelter by crashing the Cartier tent, and it's just as well that we did because the guests were bored to death. They had long given up pretending to understand polo when we arrived like a phalanx of legs, pinks and frilly hats. Finally there were fillies worth following. The burly skinhead security guard was having none of it though, as he pointed to the back door and said, “Get out, freak.” Well, I never I might come in rear doors, but I certainly do not exit from them. So I straddled the white picket fence and sashayed across the paddock spraining my ankle in a divot en route. Shame on Cartier!

Across the field to the Hurun marquee, sponsored by Slice, which was brimming with old money. I had a wonderful chat with a septuagenarian named Bunny who “thoroughly enjoyed” the polo and invited to me to a cup of tea whereupon she quizzed me about life in Shanghai. At no point did it seem to bother her that she was talking to a man in a silver ra-ra skirt and neon fishnet. That's class.

Fast forward to last weekend and the gala opening of the sublime Park Hyatt where I sat with a famous face who played the cameras like someone a third of his age. He took umbrage that I brought a date to our table, so when I announced our departure, the famous face said, “and you can take your friend with you.” I leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered, “That friend is one of the best plastic surgeons in town, dear, and he could help you save what little face you have left.” His face dropped so far it almost slid off. Discrimination and pretense never benefited anyone. So keep it real and celebrate the diversity around you.