Boxing Cat Brewery's been running their Twelve Round Challenge since they opened, so in my quest to take on all of the city's eating challenges, I've decided to give this a shot--winners get their name up on Wall of Fame, losers go home drunk.

The Rules:
It's pretty simple. Guys have to finish 12 pints in two hours, girls have to finish eight. If you like, they'll break it down into 18 (generous) half-pints for guys and 12 for girls. Either way, it's the same amount of beer. No puking until you hit the two-hour mark, even if you finish early.

Obvious Stuff:
1. Don't puke.
2. Pick the lightest beer (the Right Hook Helles).
3. Let the beers sit out as long as possible so they lose their carbonation. Less gas = more stomach space.
4. Go during happy hour. It's cheaper--just RMB35 a pint.

Expert Advice:
Michael Jordan (BCB Brewmaster): "Last time, some guys brought a little frappuccino mixer and used it to stir the beers and get the bubbles out." Did it work? "Not really."

Leon Mickelson (The BREW Brewmaster): "If you use 50mL shot glasses, it's just a double power hour." Right. Yes. Easy. Duh.

Austin Hu (Madison chef, eating expert): "Drink lots of fluids starting a few hours before so you get the system going. You can break the seal early on and then just keep it flowing from there." Sounds good to me.

0:00 The Contestants

From left to right...
Me, not a super drinker. Though I've just chugged 2L of water.
Anna Ford (aka "Bean"), a Shanghai Family editor who decided to join two hours before we started. "I used to do this in college all the time!"
Nick Dowdy, just duped into doing this.
Wes Proctor, second time competitor, part of the frappuccino crew. Finished 9.5 his first try.

Time: 0:03

We're all going for 18 half-pints (12 for Anna). One and a half down. If you're going to keep an even pace, it's one beer every 6:40 min.

Time: 0:08

Wes: "Just drink at your pace. Last time people tried to push too much and just puked early. Just keep pace."

Two down!

Time: 0:29

At least it looks impressive. I think I've already peed twice. A good sign. I think.

Time: 0:33

Anna: "Five!"
Me: "I am so cool right now. Also: six." Right on pace.

Time: 1:04

Ughhh. So gassy. So incredibly gassy. No longer on pace. Not feeling optimistic. And saying so to everyone around me.

Time: 1:17

Nine! Must...not...let...girl...beat...me...

Time: 1:36

"Is it supercalifragilisticexpialidocious or superfragicaliisticexpealidocious?"

Time: 1:44

Eleven! Sometime in the last some number of minutes, Wes (14 beers) and Nick (13) have puked. I am upright but totally, horribly, amazingly off pace. Anna, on the other hand...

Time: 1:54

Eleven and a half down. Must...not...let...girl...beat...ah screw it. Don't puke. Don't puke. Don't puke.

Time: 1:57

Anna Ford: done, and clearly more awesome than me.

Time: 2:00

Drunkenness lasts for hours. Shame lasts a lifetime. Anna Ford celebrates with a crotch grab. So does the dude behind her.

Verdict: Geoff loses. I estimate I have finished 27.5 beers. More conventional/accurate estimates put me somewhere between 11.5 and 11.75. But at least I didn't puke. Life is all about small victories. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

Think you can do better? Try it for yourself.

Check out my first eating challenge attempt where I took on the five-man laksa at The Kerry Hotel