In my university years, many Friday evenings began at Woody's Mediterranean Cafe in East Lansing. They served mediocre falafel, but the eccentric, chain-smoking clientèle (mid-thirties professor's sons known to smoke crack in the woods behind the dorms and rent out their Subaru Foresters for $25 a weekend) kept me coming back. It's hard to find crazy people and Mediterranean food in Shanghai, let alone together, but I checked out the latter at Haya's Mediterranean Cafe the other day.

Yeah, Dat' Was Straight... (Selections to Return For)

1) Apple Juice. I don't associate apple juice with Mediterranean restaurants, but Haya's slipped a little magic dust into that love nectar.

2) Soup in a bread bowl - always a good call. Creamy mushroom soup with potent flavor.

3) Feta cheese, some of the best I've had in Shanghai. Like meeting a cool girl at an awful party, this was the only redeeming quality of the otherwise dreadful Greek salad.

4) Hummus. Introduced to me in 8th grade by a friend with aging-hippie parents. Haya's does it right, but they ration the bread like it's the goddamn Great Leap Forward.

Some Wackness.... (Rather Undesirable Choices/Circumstances)

1) Service. I always feel awkward about screaming "FUWUYUAN!!!" in a mid-range, non-Chinese restaurant, but last night warranted Shanghainese manners. Albeit pleasant with solid English skills, the wait staff hangs out in the back, possibly playing cards intensely. I really needed some vinegar and pepper for that insipid Greek Salad.

2) Music. Actually, I can't hate on the music as a whole, but the ten-minute musak rendition of "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - completely inappropriate.

3) Lemonade. Detroit, Lansing, Kalamazoo, and every other American city with a ghetto all have spots selling a fat piece of chicken/pork/fish, a handful of chips from a giant bag, and a grand glass of lemonade/kool-aid for $3.99 out the door. Great in the summertime when the hoes is out. I had high hopes for that nostalgic lemon flavor, but all I got was some watered-down bullshit in a showy glass.

4) Chicken Salad. The menu didn't lie about "boneless" chicken, but I'd almost rather deal with the bones like a Chinaman then wrestle with skinflaps that rival those of my uncle's Rottweiler.

5) Baklava...meh. Palatable, but dry and forgettable.

So check out the Apple Juice and Hummus. Afterwards stop by "Better Than DVD World" and pick up the new Wu-Tang Album, "8 Diagrams." Fifteen years in the game and they still ain't nothin to fuck with.

Copyright 2008, Heat Wolves