Somewhere, among the loose, skanky, anonymous shagging in the LOgO bathroom or by the lake in Tianshan Park, one of your boys is eventually bound to find love. While Shanghai is really more of a den of lust and hedonism, there is a rare case of relationship-itis, and with it, occasionally, comes legitimate (pre)nuptials, signifying the need for a proper stag party.But where can you possibly go for some seriously naughty bachelor fun in a city that has yet to legalize filthy strip clubs, shower shows and two-girl table dances?

“One complaint I hear from bachelors in Shanghai over and over again is that they don’t know what to do for a bachelor party, since every night out in Shanghai has the potential to be a bachelor party,” comments Henry Fan, owner of Stampede Karting (pictured), China’s largest indoor go-kart track. “I steer them towards something more memorable, as opposed to the Western idea of the raunchier the better.”

Fan explains that Stampede is an ideal venue for any bachelor party, and that go-karting in general is a solid bachelor activity because it “builds up testosterone before late night debaucheries.” He adds that the track offers sweet discounts for larger groups.
But when it comes to stag night, we all know everyone’s not-so-secretly looking for chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze. To that end, without delving into the seedy world of shady “barbershops” or over-priced look-but-don‘t-touch KTVs, Shanghai has a few reasonable options for horny bachelors, like the newly opened Phebe 3-Don Hengshan Lu, a direct rival to the acclaimed No. 88.

While Phebe 3-D plays the same Now! That’s What I Call Music soundtrack as its Fumin Lu competitor, it also features scantily-clad girls playing putt-putt, a similarly underclad hottie tickling the piano on a rotating stage and several dozen of Shanghai’s finest bar girls.

Make no mistake, fellas, these provincial beauties are paid to entice you to drink more, but anyone still standing by midnight at a bachelor party is most likely wearing some thick beer goggles, and thus quite likely to shell out for another round. Of course, go-karts and Chinese mega clubs aren’t everyone’s bag, so bachelors looking for even more risqué fun can head to Judy’s or the strip of bars on Huashan Lu near Yan’an Lu. Just remember, the rules of every bachelor party forbid questioning the motives of anyone found partying there after happy hour.

Did you pick up on my not-so-hidden film reference? Do you have your own stag idea?