Whether or not a "woman's place is in the kitchen" depends on which kitchen you are talking about. At home, women are often the cooks, although in women-wear-the-pants Shanghai homes, men are frequent partners at the stove. However, in the professional kitchen, and specifically in the "hot kitchen" (the frenzied high heat, high stress section that produces the hot entrÈes), it is typical for men to be the sole chefs, not just in China, but the world over.

Eric Johnson of Jean-Georges (French) believes in a balance of genders in the kitchen: "If there's 100 percent of men or of women, it's never good. Once, as the morning sous chef in New York, I had a team which was all women and it was awful. I've never seen people so mean to each other. And with men it's the same because if there are no women around, men act like cavemen." (Cue Gordon Ramsey of Hell’s Kitchen.)

I grew up eating mostly my mother's food, but not due to sexism or proscribed gender roles; my parents are firmly opposed to convention. However, they are devotees of great cooking and in this area, my mother excels and my father, in the past, has failed miserably. It once seemed he would never live down his peanut butter soup, circa 1985.

Jacqueline Qiu, 38, is a rarity in the industry–she's a sous chef in the hot kitchen at Jean- Georges. Qiu says, "I think the lack of women in the hot kitchen is due to a problem with people's conceptions about women. When a woman starts training, she typically won't be assigned to the hot kitchen. But I think anything men can do, women can do just as well." Qiu was the fourth female chef to tell me this. Monica Chen, 22, Mesa & Manifesto's (Fusion) chef de partie says, "People think the hot kitchen is too dangerous for women, or that we can't take it. But I think I can take even the most strenuous work–even working in the hot kitchen in the summer when it's scorching hot." Sophie Zhang, who leads Mesa's pastry kitchen, says, "Maybe there's some sexism. Maybe people will think it's strange if there's a woman head chef."

The lack of women in China's hot kitchens is not due to lack of ambition, say these chefs. "Actually, when I studied Chinese cuisine I thought maybe one day I could be head chef of a whole kitchen," says Chen. Duan Jinjin, a Mesa trainee, says, "If I had the choice, I would develop my career in the hot kitchen." Duan, 20, has an animated manner and charismatic sense of humor. She seems like she could take on any job given the chance, and kudos to Mesa chef Matthew van der Zwan for offering her both pastry and hot kitchen training.

These women say that to get ahead, they need management to trust their resilience. They also need role models. Chen, who previously worked at Azul Viva (Spanish) under American restaurateur Kelley Lee says, "Kelley is a model to me. I really admire her. I think she's incredibly capable; she can do everything, from the hot kitchen to the management. Apart from her, I have never seen a woman in the highest position in the hot kitchen."

These chefs, and the people who hire and promote them, are helping advance female leadership roles in chefing. Just as it was once unbelievable that my father could now make a mean Sunday brunch (including magnificent waffles and quiche), gender roles can change and evolve. Anyone with the motivation, a love for cooking, and the right opportunity can excel–whether in the home kitchen, or the hot kitchen.

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