It’s been making its way around the rumor mill for a little while now: Panda Express, the fixture of shopping mall food courts across the US, is about to enter China. Before we entertain questions of how the chain will do, there is the larger question of what to call their food.

Back in the States it’s all too easy to count it as Chinese and call it a day. I mean, they have the word “panda” in the name and they serve rice and have soy sauce, but seriously, folks, we’re in Shanghai–we should know better, even if it’s not even really Panda Express’ fault. Like all children of the China-US diaspora, the chain has serious identity issues it needs to work out before it can crack China.

Maybe it’s because I never grew up with it, but there really isn’t a special place in my heart for Chinese-American food. Even living in New York I missed true Chinese cuisine. Growing up in China, Taiwan and Japan meant that I knew real egg rolls are a sweet crumbly pastry rolled in tubes and lined in tin boxes. I have always found American egg rolls to be massive, incredibly doughy and a colossal rip-off. It doesn’t take a chef to realize that some dough wrapped around a mix of half-sauteed cabbage was making somebody a lot of money.

Even the beloved General’s Tso’s chicken, named after famed Hunan general Zuo Zongtang, was created in New York in the late ’70s, not in China. I am not saying that the dishes aren’t tasty–some, when done well, are perfectly enjoyable, but never in my life would I call it Chinese.

To all you Panda defenders and nay-sayers out there, I hear you. You’re telling me that I shouldn’t hold Panda Express, an American brand, to Chinese standards. They’re simply adjusting traditional flavors to match their demographic. It’s a fair argument, but how does this differ from than the reviewers here who complain about the authenticity of their (insert ethnic food of choice) dinner?

Maybe Panda Express will accommodate local tastes, just as other fast food giants did, even if the concept of tweaking Chinese-American food to make it more suitable to Chinese tastes seems odd and redundant. Maybe it will work. But Americanized ethnic foods have historically not fared well after repatriation (Taco Bell has twice failed to enter Mexico), and I really have no idea how Panda Express will do. All I know is that if you gave me the choice between chicken lo mein or Lanzhou lamian, I know I’m going for the lamian every time.

When Austin Hu isn't busy writing City Weekend's The Dish blog, he runs things over at Madison. Check out more of his articles here.