There comes a time in every socialite's bar life to confront the question: “Why exactly does the music have to be so loud in here?” Usually that moment comes around the age of 30.

This unsettling social uncertainty is often followed by a series of other realizations like: “God it's crowded!” and “My drink really does smell of formaldehyde.” Convey these revelations to twenty somethings who glide gleefully between the city's all-you-can-drink specials however, and you'll be met with either incredulity, or worse, pity. There is no shame in reaching the age when a warm vodka and Coke doesn't cut it anymore.

So say it loud and say it proud, “I'm over 30 and I demand more!"

For those who insist on more, Shanghai offers oases of hope, like the Bund's Martini Bar, where drinks are served in the appropriate glass and you never have to ask for ice, or places like Constellation, where bowtie-clad barmen know their Singapore Slings from their Sidecars, and appear, as if by magic, to light your cigarette as you peruse the expansive cocktail list.

Just a few blocks east is the welcomingly vibrant Velvet Lounge. Retiring shyly behind the more flagrant charms of Julu Lu's infamous hostess bars, Velvet radiates a self-confidence that is all beaded glass privacy and candle-lit seduction. Bar coowner Miguel Jonsson says, “We want to create an international environment with a neighborhood feel. Nothing is worse than ordering a bad cocktail. Our drinks are good quality and good value and the staff know all the regulars by name. It's intimate, but it's fun."

Its successful formula has been taken to heart by the likes of Yongfu Lu's charmingly diminutive cocktail den, Kiitos, where 15 people make a crowd and the Manhattans are to die for.

And any list for discerning drinkers must include perennial favorite, Cotton's. In the heart of the former French Concession and hidden from the garish glare of Hengshan Lu, this turn-of-the-century villa is a great first stop for many Shanghai sophisticates. “I come here because I can chill out in front of an open fire with a real drink I can enjoy,” says regular Cherry Long, 33. “At the end of the night I want to feel good and not stink of cigarette smoke and be deaf in both ears and hoarse from shouting. I don't think that's too much too ask.” Nor do we, Cherry, nor do we.

By Steve Hobbs