So before I proceed with this rant (yes it is a bit of a rant), let me state that I'm not afraid of polish, layering, and production effects in my music. Some of my favorite bands like Queens of the Stone Age and Nine Inch Nails stack so many sonic layers on record that it becomes difficult for the un-trained ear to determine what's what, but when the time comes to hit the live stage, they flesh out the parts, get them down, and, occasionally bring in extra players to pull off the complexities recorded on album.

With that in mind, last Saturday (5/24), I took a stroll down to Windows Tembo to check out highly-lauded major-label signees Blue Garden, and what I saw and heard made me want to vomit (and not like the hoardes of wasted dice-hurlers and teenagers who can't hold their liquor and puke all over the Tembo bathroom, I was disgusted by the "band").

Now, I'm not saying that I'm not at fault for putting myself in this situation (this is a band who most ex-pats have never heard of because they don't play shows in Shanghai due to their demanding obligations as Chinese "rock stars"), but I like to branch out and check out every band atleast once. Shit, if I'm gonna criticize something, I better be damn sure I've covered all my bases.

The reality is that this group is no band, but simply masquerade as a rock unit.

Within a matter of minutes, it was clearly evident that the band was playing to a backing track, and not just a simple click for the drummer to keep tempo or the occasional strings sample, but a heavily manufactured canvas that really was just as present as the actual players themselves.

The lead singer, who's got a super cool-guy haircut, was singing with vocal doublers and harmonizers, the guitar player had additional guitar samples interweaving with his own live licks (it's not like he clicked on a chorus pedal or a reverse loop, these were blatantly pre-recorded), and the keyboard player, oh wait, there is no keyboard player in Blue Garden but if you closed your eyes during this "live set" you'd swear there was.

For anyone unfamiliar with me (although I'm still convinced the only people who read this blog are Aric, Collin, Jess, and Krisha), I'm no hater, save Vampire Weekend (great band name, but the music is just too tweeny and lame for my tastes). But using a backing track during a live show totally goes against everything rock music and club shows stand for. Great live bands are combustible and spontaneous (that's not to say they are unrehearsed, but there is no safety net or phantom organist).

This realization, and a previous report from a confidential, but reliable, source about Queen Sea Big Shark's use of a click track, led me to investigate if any other bands employ the magical services of pre-recorded instruments.

As it turns out, Shanghai's very own YuGuo (Flying Fruit), who were, coincidentally, nominated for a City Weekend Reader's Choice Award also use a massive backing track, laden with keyboards, guzheng, and other Chinese traditional instruments.

Let me just say it for the record: there is a fine line between being a rock band and a pop creation. Leave the bells and whistles for the album (that's cool, it's part of making a studio record), but when you step out on that stage check the bullshit at the door: it shows total disrespect for the audience and the institution of rock music.

That's enough of me. Now I'm curious to know if anyone reads this blog and if anyone actually gives a shit. Later on . . .