Since all of you have gone home for the holidays and I’m writing this one for my eyes only I’m thinking it will be a rambling monologue about which one of the gift baskets I’m going to tear into for next (fruit cake or sugar cookies!?!?) and swearing under my breath about how I don’t wanna go out tonight because it’s too f*cking cold out! For any unlucky souls still reading this rant, wondering when a mention of a warehouse rave or cocktail party is going to kick in, read on, fellow booze bags! Turns out all three of us still stuck in town are down to get wasted. Shocker.

Thursday DOPE is on at Zeal if your into urban hip hop, The Shelter’s got Beat Conductorz Hamacide and Ceezy hitting it hard, Mazzo Lounge is reopening with BOGO cocktails and house tunes by DJ Benny, Afro-J and Deep19 and Dada’s got Chinese laundry featuring DJs from Shanghai, Chengdu and Yunan.

On Friday head to the ultimate annual super rock and roll pillow fight where you’ll join a thousand heads in slamming eachother with the soft and squishy bedtime accessory. Trash A Go-Go’s bringing Beijing rockabilly punks Rolling Bowling or hit the NYE MASSIVE pre-party at Panic Room. Dada’s got the Bad Santa’s reigning down beats on naughty boys and girls and Rico Rico’s Christmas Suavemente shindig will have you bailando long into la noche.

This Saturday marks the finale of Mesh with Goldie spinning at The Shelter and the momentous 10th anniversary of Top Floor Circus. A new Chinese club, on Henshan Lu, Fly, will open its doors and its swimming pool to ambitious polar bears and patrons, or spark the party and legalize it with a serious reggae session at D10.

Since we’re counting Monday as a blacked out day at the office, hit up one of the Sunday night celebrations like the Mod Dance Party: Christmas Spectacular.

For those of you that aren’t celebrating Hanukkah / Chanuka / Hanukah or Kwanza, here’s a big badass list with most of the Christmas dinners and parties going on this weekend so I didn’t repeat them all here although I will point you toward free mulled wine at CVRVE from now through New Year’s.