Cheap, strong and, well, cheap drinks
What is it about this town that gives us such a delusional sense of self? We're better-looking, funnier and, despite making less than we did back home, we don't even bat an eye at shelling out ¥50 (US$7!) for a pint of Kilkenny's. Well, damn it, there must be a way to get drunk for cheap and if having a column doesn't pay sh*t, then I can at least write off a week-long bender. We'll call it the "How to Get Pissed For Under ¥100 without Hitting Windows or C's Revolution –oops!–Movement."

To start the week off right at Diage, the best damn bar in Shanghai. Designed in dark comfy colors, this restaurant / lounge / art studio is the best kept secret in town. "Our customers quickly become family," says manager Hirano. Diage has a cozy vibe and good drink prices–that's what family is all about. Did I mention the insanely cheap happy hour? It's ¥15 for a Jack and Coke, ¥20 for a Chimay and they'll even bring you free canapés if you're nice.

Next up is T.G.I. Friday's [insert eye rolling here]. The reason it's included here comes down to this: a Long Island Ice Tea (¥68) served in a glass that could fit the ass of a-Wednesday-night-Zapata's-dancing-American gal, and an extra shot of one of the four white spirits (¥30). These two are all you need for the night and you'll have money left over to buy the flair-less waiter a bootleg copy of "Office Space."

For some reason, my second favorite bar (can't really count T.G.I. Friday's), El Cubano, is still a mystery to most. Sure, the original's in Gubei, which means a whopping 17 minute cab ride, but Shanghai has 31 Cubans and you'll find most of them here. This tiny hot-box never fails to send you home reeling from owner Pedro's mantra of "con cinco mojitos, olvida los mosquitos" (have five mojitos and forget about the mosquitoes [your problems]). Drinks run ¥35 each, but if you sign your name on the wall or dance with Chef Jesus, they'll make it three for ¥100.

And, what drunken-guide would be complete without a mention of Blue Frog? They faced immediate disqualification for having branches on both Tongren Lu and Maoming Lu, but they have great drink specials. The two-for-one deals from 4-8pm mean ¥22.50 a pop for a Cosmo and less than ¥20 for most other cocktails. If that doesn't get you, they've got the best coasters in town. (Am I the only one that steals them?)

So, go forth, dear reader and take comfort in the fact that there are still drink specials in this town that don’t involve the words "ladies' night" or require that ridiculous Enjoy card you still don't mind using.