Can cover bands fill the live music void?

It's been a long, hot, slow summer and my usual release, moshing around local venues to the thrashing sounds of Chinese rock, has been ripped from my clutches. With no other options, I decide to do the unthinkable, and steal my quick fix from the only bands deemed tame enough to go unnoticed by the exile radar–the cover bands.

The search for loud, screeching guitars and thunder-banging drums begins in the aptly-named Shanghai Band Sanctuary. The Hengshan Lu cathedral, formerly Bourbon Street, is inviting, its yellow-stained exterior potentially containing the remedy to the city's awful silence. While the name and paint job have changed, the interior holds little in the way of rock and roll aesthetics. The house band, a slick mob of Filipino imports, cautiously navigates through a set of cover-band staples, the three female lead singers engaging the crowd in a mediocre rendition of Tony Basil's "Mickey," the guitar player nailing every note in the lightning-quick coda of Guns n' Roses' "Paradise City," but the performance lacks any passion or connection to the music, and I'm completely unsatisfied.

Next up on the agenda is RedBeat, my hopes are high that their "acclaimed" house band can ease my woes. There is no doubt that everyone in this band (yes, they are also from the Philippines) has some musical ability, but half-assed versions of REM's "Losing My Religion" and Alannah Myles' "Black Velvet" leave much to be desired, and I remain unfulfilled.

Hell-bent on aural satisfaction, I move on to Malone's, where the middle-aged go to relive their glory days. While the set begins slowly (KC and the Sunshine Band's "Boogie Shoes," The BeeGees "Night Fever"), I must give the band a little credit for their spotless version of Cindy Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Still, the horrid version of Violent Femmes' "Blister in the Sun" ruins any chance at redemption and I proceed to Xintiandi, the Mecca, Medina and Jerusalem of cover band existence.

The options are plentiful and I am not sure which door to choose; Paulaner Brauhaus, Paradise and Rendevous all feature live music, but it's the faint sound of Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll" that draws me to Luna. The band then proceeds to severely butcher Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls," and my experiment is officially a bust. Cover acts, hang it up ...

Dan Shapiro