Why girls totally act gay in pictures
Yesterday while I was Face-book-stalking my ex-girlfriend's newest pictures, making sure that I was sleeping with more people than she was, I ended up having a bonus educational experience as well upon discovering a new phenomenon: females that temporarily trade their sexual preference in hopes for a "You've been tagged in a photo" notification the next day. Let's call them L.I.Ps (Lesbians in Pictures), no! I got it: Lens-bians.

We all know these gals, they're into men, but the second they hear a digital camera focusing on their group, turn into Ani Difranco on MDMA. While this isn't a Shanghai-specific epidemic, it does seem to happen more in our nightlife than anyone else's, but why?

The obvious answer would be "because we know it turns you guys on," says my friend Marianne. But if that's true, you have to stop hitting us in the eye when we suggest a threesome. Or maybe it's because most girls are, as the studies men like to quote state, bi-curious? Perhaps, although you never see any hot L-Word action in these photos, just pecks. A third option could be that the vast majority of the Western girls are attention-starved and will do the one thing most locals won't by totally smooching their BFFs. I honestly had no idea, so headed to the two place I knew I could find out.

If there was an open, bi-friendly bar in Shanghai, it'd have to be the pinkly proud Glamour Bar. "It has nothing to do with pictures," says Melanie from London, "it's just more fun to kiss your mates than some random guy at the bar, that's all it is." Bullsh*t! It's either that ya'll are into chicks or you all just like messing with our little minds.

I stomped out of Glamour realizing that I needed a place with hard-drinkin' honesty and if for no other reason than the name, Eager Beaver seemed like it just might be that place. "Why?" I again asked the only two girls sitting at the bar. Why not make out with us men in photos instead if you're not gay? "Because most guys here stay because they don't get much attention back home," says Kat. "And that pretty much makes them sad and not even worth the effort. So, we'd rather have a laugh than lower our standards to some delusional loser who's been in Asia too long." In the name of research, I tried to kiss them but was told to p*ss off.

Aric S. Queen