Why gay men in Shanghai build their own Great Wal
I have recently received some emails from readers about who I am, why I have a column with no picture, and why use a name which may or may not be my own. Safe to say, I'm a real gay man that lives and works in Shanghai. I am not a ghost writer. I'm also not Indian as my avatar might suggest. So, what's the deal with the facade?

In all of the hustle and bustle of Shanghai, I sometimes forget that I'm gay. But, when I get snapped out of that lull, it's usually quick and sudden. A few months ago, one of my coworkers asked, "Do you have a Facebook profile?" I denied it and then quickly headed back to my desk to delete pictures of my boyfriend and me at some of Shanghai's LGBT hotspots and increased my security settings.

I once overheard a guy at Shanghai Studio talking to a friend. He said that he knew a man who was asked to leave his church in Shanghai because the pastor found his profile on Fridae.com, an online meeting place for gays and lesbians across Asia. The pastor even printed out his profile and confronted him.

Modern international cities like Shanghai are a gay man's natural habitat. Without stereotyping too much, most of us enjoy going out, meeting new people and enjoying the comforts that suburbia lacks. Most importantly, the generally liberal attitudes of metropolitan citizens allow us to feel more comfortable being ourselves. Cities like New York and Sydney are gay meccas, not Shanghai.

It's true that Shanghai is quite open compared to other cities in China and I have met quite a few people that are welcoming to my kind. But, it's not all "rainbows and butterflies," as Maroon 5 might say. Shanghai certainly won't be opening a leather bar anytime soon, to say the least. Many online documentaries about Shanghai or China's gay scene will still feature interviews with Chinese people that think gays are "mentally ill" or that the concept of homosexual love is "unfathomable" and "immoral."

Accounts like that of my church-going brother only reminds us of how any optimistic notions of widespread acceptance in Shanghai can be erased instantaneously. If I out myself in this column, what's to stop my next boss, client or partner from doing the same thing to me or to another member of the community? While some gays here can get away with being out if they work for, say, a company that markets Broadway productions, others are not so lucky. For the time being, I am a voice for gay Shanghai, but certainly not its face.

Pete