A gay man learns to love straight people's bars
Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. I have not been to a gay bar in over a month. No Eddy's. No Shanghai Studio. For a gay man in a crazy city like Shanghai, that's like avoiding rice for a whole month.

As any gay person in Shanghai will tell you, being a member of a close-knit gay community has its pros and cons. On one hand, it's easy to find friends in the gay scene that identify with your situation and are, more often than not, interested in shared recreational activities (if you will). On the other hand, going to the same kind of bars every weekend can get old fast.

Recently, I have had some opportunities to step out of my normal nightlife routine by experiencing the strange world of Shanghai's straight nightlife. It all started with a very straight masculine friend from my past moving to Shanghai. We spent a lovely night of drinking and socializing (along with some womanizing on his part) at Lounge 18. For me, it was unusual to see both business and pleasure mixed so freely together. At the gay bars, that whole business and flirting thing is usually disregarded.

After two more surprisingly fun get-togethers at Blue Frog and Face Bar respectively, I was starting to think about all of those times I scoffed at going to places were breeders mingled. Maybe business and pleasure enhance a night of boozing. And better yet, at the straight bars, there was not a single conversation about Sex and the City, going to the gym, or bad boyfriends. Maybe these people are on to something.

This all got me thinking, can a gay man get sick of the Shanghai gay scene? I was talking to one of my good and extremely social Chinese gay friends about gay bars in Shanghai. "I'm tired of it," he said to me. When pressed, he continued on mentioning “seeing the same people over and over again" and the drama of Shanghai's bitter queens. These gays are just so hard to please!

Now and then, all of us get a bit depressed about the gay scene and the feeling is natural. After all, who wouldn't be depressed when infighting between club owners and drugs lead to some of your favorite bars and clubs closing? While I was tempted by the straight life, I know that I do not belong there. It's not for me. And, let's face it: the guys in gay bars are much cuter anyway.

Pete