We're always wondering what life is like for our friends back home. Here resident LGBT writer, Adam Frost, compares issues facing the LGBT community in the East and West.

If you’re reading this, then–unlike me–you haven’t flown the coop for the summer and are enjoying the perks of a Shanghai summer, like never having to iron your clothes because a) the humidity makes the wrinkles fall out and b) you aren’t wearing clothes anyway. I’m currently travelling through the States to beat the heat, visit friends and check out how the gayers are doing on the other side of the Pacific.

In my travels, I’ve been talking with old friends and meeting new people, and it made me wonder how different gay life is in America from China and what our “family” overseas think gay life is like in Shanghai.

Tim Brown, a gay American I met for the first time on this trip who has travelled overseas (but never to Asia), had a rather dreary outlook on how gays live in Shanghai. “I imagine it’s very closeted and underground,” he said. As we talked, he was impressed by the development of the gay community in Shanghai, but skeptical about how positive life could be given the prejudices gays often face–especially where gay lifestyle is so nascent.

Mike Smith, an old friend and wingman who has also travelled abroad but has yet to bring himself to visit us in China, simply stated, “I’d stick out like a sore thumb because I’m so tall.” At 188cm he might be right, but a walk onto a basketball court at any school might leave him surprised by a generation raised on a calcium-rich diet and a healthy appetite for the NBA.

For a different perspective, I chatted with a gay netizen from Chongqing who visited Japan as a student. He wasn’t sure how different gay life was overseas, only noting that gays can marry in some foreign countries. He was curious about how gays live in other countries and seemed geniunely interested in expanding his horizons.

My background and upbringing will always color my opinions of Shanghai, but after five years here I think I can claim a certain amount of insight into our differences. I have to admit that what I’ve seen is that the differences aren’t as broad as people think.

Gays in the East and West don’t seem truly to understand each other, but our underlying goals and interests are very similar. We want to enjoy our lives with friends and lovers. We want acceptance and safety in our lives. At the moment in many Western countries, it seems that marriage is the definition of true acceptance in society. As homosexuality becomes mainstream in China, Chinese gays are starting to think similarly to their Western friends, which begs the question: how long will it take?

Want to weigh-in on the debate? Share your opinions and experiences here.