Having lived in some of the world’s gayest cities, from San Francisco to London–where all it takes is heading to the local lala watering hole or simply wandering down the street with my legs wide and eyes half open in order to find a buffet of eligible ladies to devour alive–here in Shanghai, I can’t help but wonder, where have all the ladies gone?

When I was a newbie in the city, I was pointed to the all-familiar Red Station bar, offering its now infamous package of bar fights, cigarette burn holes and general all-round underage fun. Red Station is the longest reigning of Shanghai’s lala bars. I’ve seen the rise and fall of others such as Max Club and She Bar (which was quite good), but they never seem to stay open long enough to create a steady following. But if teenage girls and warm Tsingtao beer are not your thing, where can a hungry vixen satiate herself at the weekend?

As a natural born “fag hag,” “fruit fly” or whatever you call us, I’m more inclined to follow my male counterparts to Shanghai Studio or Eddy’s. Shanghai Studio holds a ladies’ night on the last Saturday of every month, but the turnouts wax and wane like the cycles of the moon. As for other nights, I just have to be resigned to the fact that I will be the only girl on the dancefloor.

I’ve discovered the best place for lala sightings are “bi” bars such as the “Anar, Dada, LOgO” trinity, and at Bounty Bar, The Apartment and el CÓctel, the set of bars all found at 47 Yongfu Lu.

If that’s not happening, I go hunting at events such as the Peaches concert, where even straight girls seemed to be spellbound by tunes such as “F*ck the Pain Away” and began locking lips with same-gendered companions.

Miracles do happen, and sometimes girls just drop out of the sky, but, unless I invite Peaches back every weekend, here in Shanghai we just have to be creative in our hunting. So here’s a shout to all my lala sisters: bring the goodwill back to the community (after all, we live in a straight world) and, at least once a month, attend lala events. There are good ones such as girls’ night at Shanghai Studio, the LGBT meet and greet at Cotton’s on Anting Lu, and the meet and greet at Transit Lounge, plus the occasional one-off event. Even if you don’t meet someone the first time, its always great to make new friends, because they may know someone that you can have sex with.

Happy hunting, girls.

What other gay-friendly fun stuff is happening in our flaming city? Share your best kept LGBT secret spots here.